Thursday, October 29, 2009
Risking a Rights Disaster : Washington Post
By Wazhma FroghSunday, October 18, 2009
As an Afghan woman who for many years lived a life deprived of the most basic human rights, I find unbearable the thought of what will happen to the women of my country if it once again falls under the control of the insurgents and militants who now threaten it.
In 2001, when the war in Afghanistan began, the liberation of Afghan women was one of the most important justifications for military intervention. Has the world now changed its mind about Afghan women? Is it ready to let them once again be killed and tortured by militants? Does the world no longer believe in the principles it supported in 2001?
Handing over Afghanistan to those who intend to keep the country centuries behind most of the world -- to men who do not view women as human beings -- would not only call into doubt the global commitment to human rights, it would also raise questions about the commitment of Western democracies to such rights and to democratic values. Bearing in mind how fragile the Afghan government is at this moment, it will not take long for the country's women to come under attack again. The consequences will be even more bitter this time because no matter how limited our success, we have at least managed to act in the forefront of public life in Afghanistan. We have had a taste of what it's like to have rights.
And it is not us alone. On my way to Kabul's international airport recently, I noticed a crowd of taxi drivers sitting under a tree at the airport taxi stand. They were mourning the deaths of Italian troops and Afghans in the suicide attack on Sept. 17 near Kabul. As I talked with them, I realized that they were not only saddened by the deaths but frightened by what they might mean. "Today, after eight years, if the foreign troops leave . . . we will go back to the same Afghanistan that seemed like a funeral every day," one of the drivers said. "This time, the loss will be huge, because during the past eight years we have made significant progress in becoming part of the rest of the world, so much so that our enemies despise us for it."
There has been progress in Afghanistan, as many such people will tell you. But can it be maintained if Washington and its allies shift their focus solely to dismantling al-Qaeda while regarding the Taliban as a lesser threat? The answer to that question will be a life-or-death matter for many thousands of women in my country, and men as well. The fact that it is even being considered makes me wonder: Have people forgotten that it was the Taliban that put the lives of millions of Afghans at risk for the sole purpose of protecting Osama bin Laden -- thus making it clear that their loyalty was to him alone? What is to stop this from happening again under Taliban rule?
Afghans understand the need for international assistance, both for the country's development and for the strengthening of its military. This is especially evident now that the insurgency and the violence are less their own creation than an unwanted gift from the other side of the border with Pakistan.
We see some of NATO's allies rapidly losing interest in Afghanistan, even though they admit that if the country is left to the insurgents, the consequence will be many more incidents like the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. They are being persuaded by a propaganda war on the part of insurgents who seem to have convinced much of the world that they are winning the war. But in fact the enemy will win only if the international community allows itself to be influenced by this propaganda campaign.
The question to keep in mind for all parties involved is, what motivated them to come to Afghanistan in the first place? The answer: global security and the protection of human rights in Afghanistan. Are these two purposes no longer valid?
Afghans do not want to rely forever on such help. They want to take ownership of the war against terrorism and insurgents. History has proved that we have always fought in defense of our sovereignty, and that is why patriotism is central to this war. With good training and adequate weaponry, the Afghan army can win the trust of villagers, who will support it in protecting villages from suicide attackers and insurgents. To achieve this goal, the international community should work with the Afghan government as an ally and avoid creating a parallel government competing with that Afghan government.
It would be helpful to hold an international conference in Afghanistan to allow the government and parliament to come up with common solutions for all parties to adhere to. Such international engagement inside Afghanistan would give a sense of ownership to Afghans, offering a change from the international conferences of the past, where Afghans rarely found an opportunity to express their opinions and offer solutions.
At this time of violence and anxiety, it is important for the international community and the United States to reaffirm their commitment to Afghanistan rather than questioning whether it is worth defending an entire people against those who would install another brutally repressive regime under which women cannot be educated or seek to improve their lot, where "justice" is meted out in mass public executions, where repression is the rule -- and where new terrorist plots will inevitably be hatched to attack the United States and its allies.
The people of Afghanistan, and most fervently its women, desire a long-term and consistent relationship with the United States and European democracies. We do not want to become another Vietnam. We want to be an example of the success of global commitment to making the world a better and safer place for everyone, from New York to London to Helmand.
The writer is a graduate student at Warwick University in Britain and has been active in human rights work in her country. She is the recipient of the U.S. State Department's 2009 International Women of Courage Award for Afghanistan.
By Wazhma FroghSunday, October 18, 2009
As an Afghan woman who for many years lived a life deprived of the most basic human rights, I find unbearable the thought of what will happen to the women of my country if it once again falls under the control of the insurgents and militants who now threaten it.
In 2001, when the war in Afghanistan began, the liberation of Afghan women was one of the most important justifications for military intervention. Has the world now changed its mind about Afghan women? Is it ready to let them once again be killed and tortured by militants? Does the world no longer believe in the principles it supported in 2001?
Handing over Afghanistan to those who intend to keep the country centuries behind most of the world -- to men who do not view women as human beings -- would not only call into doubt the global commitment to human rights, it would also raise questions about the commitment of Western democracies to such rights and to democratic values. Bearing in mind how fragile the Afghan government is at this moment, it will not take long for the country's women to come under attack again. The consequences will be even more bitter this time because no matter how limited our success, we have at least managed to act in the forefront of public life in Afghanistan. We have had a taste of what it's like to have rights.
And it is not us alone. On my way to Kabul's international airport recently, I noticed a crowd of taxi drivers sitting under a tree at the airport taxi stand. They were mourning the deaths of Italian troops and Afghans in the suicide attack on Sept. 17 near Kabul. As I talked with them, I realized that they were not only saddened by the deaths but frightened by what they might mean. "Today, after eight years, if the foreign troops leave . . . we will go back to the same Afghanistan that seemed like a funeral every day," one of the drivers said. "This time, the loss will be huge, because during the past eight years we have made significant progress in becoming part of the rest of the world, so much so that our enemies despise us for it."
There has been progress in Afghanistan, as many such people will tell you. But can it be maintained if Washington and its allies shift their focus solely to dismantling al-Qaeda while regarding the Taliban as a lesser threat? The answer to that question will be a life-or-death matter for many thousands of women in my country, and men as well. The fact that it is even being considered makes me wonder: Have people forgotten that it was the Taliban that put the lives of millions of Afghans at risk for the sole purpose of protecting Osama bin Laden -- thus making it clear that their loyalty was to him alone? What is to stop this from happening again under Taliban rule?
Afghans understand the need for international assistance, both for the country's development and for the strengthening of its military. This is especially evident now that the insurgency and the violence are less their own creation than an unwanted gift from the other side of the border with Pakistan.
We see some of NATO's allies rapidly losing interest in Afghanistan, even though they admit that if the country is left to the insurgents, the consequence will be many more incidents like the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. They are being persuaded by a propaganda war on the part of insurgents who seem to have convinced much of the world that they are winning the war. But in fact the enemy will win only if the international community allows itself to be influenced by this propaganda campaign.
The question to keep in mind for all parties involved is, what motivated them to come to Afghanistan in the first place? The answer: global security and the protection of human rights in Afghanistan. Are these two purposes no longer valid?
Afghans do not want to rely forever on such help. They want to take ownership of the war against terrorism and insurgents. History has proved that we have always fought in defense of our sovereignty, and that is why patriotism is central to this war. With good training and adequate weaponry, the Afghan army can win the trust of villagers, who will support it in protecting villages from suicide attackers and insurgents. To achieve this goal, the international community should work with the Afghan government as an ally and avoid creating a parallel government competing with that Afghan government.
It would be helpful to hold an international conference in Afghanistan to allow the government and parliament to come up with common solutions for all parties to adhere to. Such international engagement inside Afghanistan would give a sense of ownership to Afghans, offering a change from the international conferences of the past, where Afghans rarely found an opportunity to express their opinions and offer solutions.
At this time of violence and anxiety, it is important for the international community and the United States to reaffirm their commitment to Afghanistan rather than questioning whether it is worth defending an entire people against those who would install another brutally repressive regime under which women cannot be educated or seek to improve their lot, where "justice" is meted out in mass public executions, where repression is the rule -- and where new terrorist plots will inevitably be hatched to attack the United States and its allies.
The people of Afghanistan, and most fervently its women, desire a long-term and consistent relationship with the United States and European democracies. We do not want to become another Vietnam. We want to be an example of the success of global commitment to making the world a better and safer place for everyone, from New York to London to Helmand.
The writer is a graduate student at Warwick University in Britain and has been active in human rights work in her country. She is the recipient of the U.S. State Department's 2009 International Women of Courage Award for Afghanistan.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
My article in Guardian, September 2009
Afghans can't trust anyone
The challenge in Afghanistan is to hold a serious and consistent political stance on the Taliban. Inconsistency is creating chaos
Wazhma Frogh
guardian.co.uk, Tuesday 22 September 2009 22.30 BST
Article history
Not a day passes without representatives of the international community trying to save Afghanistan without bothering to step out of their fully secured buildings to actually meet ordinary Afghans, the people they are supposed to help. Phrases like "success", "our war", "winning hearts and minds" are used to describe the current chaotic situation. But the international community has contributed to this situation as much as "Taliban insurgents".
The self-styled experts on Afghanistan write books without ever stepping out of the comforts of their segregated neighbourhood. They formulate foreign policy, draft proposals and carry out experiments as if Afghanistan were an experimental laboratory for international diplomacy. But the country's deteriorating situation is also their legacy and the legacy of world leaders who failed to understand Afghanistan.
Needless to say, the experiments are futile and bound to fail. Here is why. The experts don't understand the country because they are separated from its people through security walls, multiple guards and the fact that they only converse with their fellow, self-styled experts, but not with Afghans.
This analysis is based on real-life experience and the realities that I, an Afghan woman, have encountered on the ground for many years. We have a proverb that says, "We learn how to be courteous when we meet those who are rude and disrespectful." The easiest way to learn from mistakes is to reverse them, but the world is taking longer than needed to reverse its mistakes in Afghanistan.
Although the list of mistakes is long and continues to grow, let's start with the recent dilemma: the "AfPak" drama. The US government and its allies need to understand, and here I mean understand fully, that they are dealing with two different governments, two separate states and nations so different that they cannot be equated in a single mission. The differences are too pronounced to legitimise a one-size-fits-both solution.
This is not to speak of the fact that such an equation overrides the legitimacy and sovereignty of both nations, especially since sovereignty and legitimacy are critical to their survival at this point in history. It is true that the Taliban are a regional threat, but they need to be tackled through a cohesive but contextualised struggle by each country. The Taliban ruled Afghanistan for five years but it is an established fact that in part they were a Pakistani creation, organised and funded by the Pakistani army and government. But today, both governments are put on the same scale when it comes to fighting against the former "rulers" and "puppets".
For the Pakistani government the Taliban represent only a backlash against what used to be their own creation. But in Afghanistan, the Taliban are far more than a backlash. They are a serious threat to the people and the government. This threat might be somewhat curbed by drone attacks in the border areas, but as recent incidents reveal, the Taliban cannot be prevented from blowing themselves up right outside the headquarters in Kabul where the international troops are based.
Millions of dollars have been poured into this "AfPak mission", paying the salaries of self-styled experts who are hardly able to set foot outside the safety and comfort of their castles. Ironically, the Afghanistan mission has hardly any Afghans in it, at least not the kind of Afghans who have lived through the critical times in this country and hence, by virtue of their experience and knowledge, are capable of formulating strategies within a chance of success.
This is everyone else's war, not the Afghans' war. Any other country in the world claims that this is their conflict, but not Afghans. That's the heart of our misery. Afghans are being fought in their homes and expected not to lose their "hearts and minds". One of the reasons why the Taliban are making progress in Afghanistan is their ability to fight a successful propaganda war. But both local and international media outlets indirectly encourage the Taliban by publishing stories of Taliban success. For the Taliban, this is free, international publicity. Neither the international forces nor the Afghan government have come up with a media campaign to encourage the public to help them fight terrorism. In fact, neither the government nor the international community has ever held a clear stance regarding the Taliban. In 2001, Kabul was full of posters of Mullah Omar, the Taliban leader. He was wanted dead or alive and a bounty of $25m was placed on his head. Today, the same international community is calling Omar a "moderate" and is trying to persuade him to negotiate peace with Kabul.
The challenge in Afghanistan isn't about resources but principles. It's about holding a serious and consistent political stance regarding the Taliban. For example, the Afghan army's lack of success in the fight against the Taliban is not so much the result of their inadequate salary or the number of troops but the lack of patriotic sentiment that is needed if the army is to win. The fact that the Afghan leadership itself is hesitant to clarify the exact nature of its relationship with the Taliban leaves the army unsettled: is the government against the Taliban or ready to negotiate with them? The recent elections were another example of how national security has become a mere political game for wannabe Afghan leaders. For example, one candidate said the Taliban were like her own brothers, her own sons. And yet, we have thousands of troops fighting the same sons and brothers. This inconsistent approach continues as Afghanistan's elections are declared "fraudulent" and unacceptable even though the critics are also the ones who set the election day and called it "an achievement towards success in Afghanistan".
Afghans on the ground are confused; they no longer know who they are supposed to fight against. They fear that if they stop the Taliban from blowing up their village, the same Taliban might come back to power, installed as governors or ministers. Under such circumstances, standing up against the Taliban is just too risky.
But there's nothing new in this inconsistent approach. In late 2001, during the Bonn agreement, Afghans were promised justice and that people accused of war crimes would be held to account. But those accused of war crimes are now leaders, openly and publicly supported by the very same international community that promised to take them to court. No wonder, then, that Afghans no longer know who is supposed to be their enemy, and who their friend.
The challenge in Afghanistan is to hold a serious and consistent political stance on the Taliban. Inconsistency is creating chaos
Wazhma Frogh
guardian.co.uk, Tuesday 22 September 2009 22.30 BST
Article history
Not a day passes without representatives of the international community trying to save Afghanistan without bothering to step out of their fully secured buildings to actually meet ordinary Afghans, the people they are supposed to help. Phrases like "success", "our war", "winning hearts and minds" are used to describe the current chaotic situation. But the international community has contributed to this situation as much as "Taliban insurgents".
The self-styled experts on Afghanistan write books without ever stepping out of the comforts of their segregated neighbourhood. They formulate foreign policy, draft proposals and carry out experiments as if Afghanistan were an experimental laboratory for international diplomacy. But the country's deteriorating situation is also their legacy and the legacy of world leaders who failed to understand Afghanistan.
Needless to say, the experiments are futile and bound to fail. Here is why. The experts don't understand the country because they are separated from its people through security walls, multiple guards and the fact that they only converse with their fellow, self-styled experts, but not with Afghans.
This analysis is based on real-life experience and the realities that I, an Afghan woman, have encountered on the ground for many years. We have a proverb that says, "We learn how to be courteous when we meet those who are rude and disrespectful." The easiest way to learn from mistakes is to reverse them, but the world is taking longer than needed to reverse its mistakes in Afghanistan.
Although the list of mistakes is long and continues to grow, let's start with the recent dilemma: the "AfPak" drama. The US government and its allies need to understand, and here I mean understand fully, that they are dealing with two different governments, two separate states and nations so different that they cannot be equated in a single mission. The differences are too pronounced to legitimise a one-size-fits-both solution.
This is not to speak of the fact that such an equation overrides the legitimacy and sovereignty of both nations, especially since sovereignty and legitimacy are critical to their survival at this point in history. It is true that the Taliban are a regional threat, but they need to be tackled through a cohesive but contextualised struggle by each country. The Taliban ruled Afghanistan for five years but it is an established fact that in part they were a Pakistani creation, organised and funded by the Pakistani army and government. But today, both governments are put on the same scale when it comes to fighting against the former "rulers" and "puppets".
For the Pakistani government the Taliban represent only a backlash against what used to be their own creation. But in Afghanistan, the Taliban are far more than a backlash. They are a serious threat to the people and the government. This threat might be somewhat curbed by drone attacks in the border areas, but as recent incidents reveal, the Taliban cannot be prevented from blowing themselves up right outside the headquarters in Kabul where the international troops are based.
Millions of dollars have been poured into this "AfPak mission", paying the salaries of self-styled experts who are hardly able to set foot outside the safety and comfort of their castles. Ironically, the Afghanistan mission has hardly any Afghans in it, at least not the kind of Afghans who have lived through the critical times in this country and hence, by virtue of their experience and knowledge, are capable of formulating strategies within a chance of success.
This is everyone else's war, not the Afghans' war. Any other country in the world claims that this is their conflict, but not Afghans. That's the heart of our misery. Afghans are being fought in their homes and expected not to lose their "hearts and minds". One of the reasons why the Taliban are making progress in Afghanistan is their ability to fight a successful propaganda war. But both local and international media outlets indirectly encourage the Taliban by publishing stories of Taliban success. For the Taliban, this is free, international publicity. Neither the international forces nor the Afghan government have come up with a media campaign to encourage the public to help them fight terrorism. In fact, neither the government nor the international community has ever held a clear stance regarding the Taliban. In 2001, Kabul was full of posters of Mullah Omar, the Taliban leader. He was wanted dead or alive and a bounty of $25m was placed on his head. Today, the same international community is calling Omar a "moderate" and is trying to persuade him to negotiate peace with Kabul.
The challenge in Afghanistan isn't about resources but principles. It's about holding a serious and consistent political stance regarding the Taliban. For example, the Afghan army's lack of success in the fight against the Taliban is not so much the result of their inadequate salary or the number of troops but the lack of patriotic sentiment that is needed if the army is to win. The fact that the Afghan leadership itself is hesitant to clarify the exact nature of its relationship with the Taliban leaves the army unsettled: is the government against the Taliban or ready to negotiate with them? The recent elections were another example of how national security has become a mere political game for wannabe Afghan leaders. For example, one candidate said the Taliban were like her own brothers, her own sons. And yet, we have thousands of troops fighting the same sons and brothers. This inconsistent approach continues as Afghanistan's elections are declared "fraudulent" and unacceptable even though the critics are also the ones who set the election day and called it "an achievement towards success in Afghanistan".
Afghans on the ground are confused; they no longer know who they are supposed to fight against. They fear that if they stop the Taliban from blowing up their village, the same Taliban might come back to power, installed as governors or ministers. Under such circumstances, standing up against the Taliban is just too risky.
But there's nothing new in this inconsistent approach. In late 2001, during the Bonn agreement, Afghans were promised justice and that people accused of war crimes would be held to account. But those accused of war crimes are now leaders, openly and publicly supported by the very same international community that promised to take them to court. No wonder, then, that Afghans no longer know who is supposed to be their enemy, and who their friend.
Monday, August 10, 2009
We learn to discriminate: Unlearning the Gender Learning
For the past decade, many development discourses have taken name from the happenings and incidents around the globe and every day we are witness of a new term describing a particular situation. Although there are reasons behind creating a discourse and then using it for self-promoting purposes, we never look into the root causes of those happenings and incidents in our surroundings. The terms as “violence against women”, “Women’s rights”, “child rights”, “gender inequality”, “discrimination against women and girls” and many more are quiet commonly used discourse to describe the terrible conditions of women and girls around the world particularly within the so-called third world countries.
Governments, civil society, profit and non-profit sectors, and activists are striving hard to introduce laws to prevent violence against women and children, to raise public awareness on affects of violence in the communities, doing a lot of advocacy, and lobbying for social justice social inclusion. However, we hardly look at the grass root causes of violence and discrimination against women and children in our communities, by our communities I mainly focus on patriarchal South Asian and Middle East countries. Have we ever thought that we learn to discriminate and violate rights of another human being particularly of women and girls? Have we ever thought that it is only us individuals who can strengthen social justice within our families and communities?
Violence against women and girls is not generated automatically from any community or individual, there is a systematic process of gender learning. By gender learning, I mean that we learn the expected and accepted characteristics for women and men in our communities from birth to death. We all learn how to behave and treat women and men in our society through the socialization process that takes place during the living cycle of human beings. In the process of socialization, girls and boys are given a very clear skeleton to fit themselves in those skeletons with particular characteristics in order to be socially accepted individuals. Let’s look at the family structures, we teach our daughters to play with the pink dress dolls, never go out otherwise boys will hurt you and people will laugh on us and we will lose our honor, and teach girls how to cook well so that her in laws will be happy with her. At the same time, we teach the brother of that girl in her presence that you are a man, our protector, our landlord and it is up to you how you protect the family honor, which is usually linked to women’s clothing, their education and their marriage.
I am usually amazed when my parents insist that whenever I go out I take my 12-year-old brother because I need a man to protect me in the society. It is obvious that from this age he starts to learn that he is superior to his sisters and even older sisters and he is the one that can save and protect his sisters, so he gets out of his way to protect his sisters at any cost ignoring her rights and identity.
We do not pay enough attention to the small issues during the childhood of our kids that will shape their mentality about themselves and their opposite sex for the rest of their lives. A small example is that when a boy cries, we condemn him saying” come on, you are not a girl, don’t cry like girls, it is a shame!” this is where we teach the lesson of girl’s inferiority to our sons and boys. We teach our boys that girls cry because they are weak and inferior while boys are superior and should not behave like girls. When our kids play around with each other we console them “Shame on you, you are playing with girls?” The honor and shame is usually associated with the lives of girls around us and from an early age our boys learn to be the gatekeepers of the honor and shame that is only related to girls.
We never teach our children the lesson of unity with their sisters and brothers, the lesson of respect that if your sister polishes your shoes, you should also iron her school dress to be courteous and kind to her. We need to teach our boys and sons that she is not there to serve you as a maid, she is your sister, your partner who should benefit equally and fairly from everything that you enjoy in life. We seldom remember that women and men need each other in every sphere of life and their lives are interdependent to each other, they both have different responsibilities, needs and contributions and we need to appreciate the diversity that shapes human life rather than despising the difference!
Governments, civil society, profit and non-profit sectors, and activists are striving hard to introduce laws to prevent violence against women and children, to raise public awareness on affects of violence in the communities, doing a lot of advocacy, and lobbying for social justice social inclusion. However, we hardly look at the grass root causes of violence and discrimination against women and children in our communities, by our communities I mainly focus on patriarchal South Asian and Middle East countries. Have we ever thought that we learn to discriminate and violate rights of another human being particularly of women and girls? Have we ever thought that it is only us individuals who can strengthen social justice within our families and communities?
Violence against women and girls is not generated automatically from any community or individual, there is a systematic process of gender learning. By gender learning, I mean that we learn the expected and accepted characteristics for women and men in our communities from birth to death. We all learn how to behave and treat women and men in our society through the socialization process that takes place during the living cycle of human beings. In the process of socialization, girls and boys are given a very clear skeleton to fit themselves in those skeletons with particular characteristics in order to be socially accepted individuals. Let’s look at the family structures, we teach our daughters to play with the pink dress dolls, never go out otherwise boys will hurt you and people will laugh on us and we will lose our honor, and teach girls how to cook well so that her in laws will be happy with her. At the same time, we teach the brother of that girl in her presence that you are a man, our protector, our landlord and it is up to you how you protect the family honor, which is usually linked to women’s clothing, their education and their marriage.
I am usually amazed when my parents insist that whenever I go out I take my 12-year-old brother because I need a man to protect me in the society. It is obvious that from this age he starts to learn that he is superior to his sisters and even older sisters and he is the one that can save and protect his sisters, so he gets out of his way to protect his sisters at any cost ignoring her rights and identity.
We do not pay enough attention to the small issues during the childhood of our kids that will shape their mentality about themselves and their opposite sex for the rest of their lives. A small example is that when a boy cries, we condemn him saying” come on, you are not a girl, don’t cry like girls, it is a shame!” this is where we teach the lesson of girl’s inferiority to our sons and boys. We teach our boys that girls cry because they are weak and inferior while boys are superior and should not behave like girls. When our kids play around with each other we console them “Shame on you, you are playing with girls?” The honor and shame is usually associated with the lives of girls around us and from an early age our boys learn to be the gatekeepers of the honor and shame that is only related to girls.
We never teach our children the lesson of unity with their sisters and brothers, the lesson of respect that if your sister polishes your shoes, you should also iron her school dress to be courteous and kind to her. We need to teach our boys and sons that she is not there to serve you as a maid, she is your sister, your partner who should benefit equally and fairly from everything that you enjoy in life. We seldom remember that women and men need each other in every sphere of life and their lives are interdependent to each other, they both have different responsibilities, needs and contributions and we need to appreciate the diversity that shapes human life rather than despising the difference!
My Speech during my selection as International Woman of Courage Award
Wazhma Frogh
International Woman of Courage Award, State Department United States of America
March 9, 2009.
Today is yet another example that the women of Afghanistan want to change their lives and want to raise their voices against inequalities and injustices on them. Yet again we are challenging the stereotypes that the women of Afghanistan are portrayed as “dead and passive and those they can’t participate in the reconstruction of Afghanistan”.
The ambition for equality and justice awoke in me when I was almost 12 years of age living in a traditional joint family that believed women shouldn’t be allowed to eat meat because it makes them strong and they will argue and disobey the family.
I started working for women and children 11 years ago when I was only 17 or 18 years of age. The compelling situation of women and children in the refugee camps of Peshawar, Pakistan made me question the inequality of power and access to the basic living needs for any human being. Trying to portray their real life conditions, I wrote in a nationwide newspaper that was published in four big cities of Pakistan on that time and raised the voices of the women and children that weren’t getting the relief aid they were supposed to, because men (who got the relief aid) used to sell them outside homes.
I continued working for refugee women and children in Peshawar Pakistan for almost 4 years through various opportunities and mainly by working with the aid agencies that were supporting women in refugee camps of Peshawar but also had its programs in Afghanistan. I used to travel back and forth to Kabul and other provinces to oversee those projects I run for women, which were mainly education, health and income generation.
During 2001, I came to Afghanistan permanently and continued my work through the first nationwide vulnerability assessment of women in today’s most volatile provinces. Since 2001, I have mainly focused on transferring my experience and expertise to local women organizations so that they are able to raise women’s voices in Afghanistan. I believe that for any strong nation, we need strong civil society. In the past 8 years I worked with more than 60 women organizations around the country, United Nations, national and international NGOs and the government to advocate for the women’s rights in all sectors of the governance and sociopolitical arenas. I have been devising advocacy and lobbying strategies for women activists and women organizations in the country to challenge the patriarchal system and assert their places within that system.
In the past few years, I have tried to bring out those local voices at the regional and international platforms, to influence the international policies on Afghanistan and address women’s issues strategically. Particularly, I have been advocating for women’s active participation in improving the peace and security of the country. As we women bring a perspective to peace which is more than military and police. Based on our experience, we believe security is about going to school, being able to get health services, being able to get justice in no time and many more. A small girl told me in Afghanistan that whenever her mother was badly beaten by her father, he knew that the outside security is bad and my father doesn’t have a work to do.
My current efforts include improving access to justice for the victims of domestic violence through legal aid and defense lawyering for women at risk. I also lead a 35 member advocacy initiative against child/women rapes and sexual abuse. We were able to convince the government and the first vice president created a high commission under his supervision to follow up child rapes cases and bring the perpetrators to justice. I together with other women activists are working on presenting the amendments to the criminal code of the country that does not yet recognize rape but instead punishes the victim for adultery. A child for adultery!
There is no doubt that in the past 8 years, after the formal fall of the Taliban government, the women of Afghanistan made progress which ranges from equality in the constitution, establishment of the ministry of women’s affairs, the 27 % gender quota in the national assembly and growing number of women working at various government and non government sector. However, we still have no woman ( apart from MOWA) in the minister’s cabinet, we are still not part of the peace processes, every 30 minutes one woman dies of maternal complications which 80 % of them are curable. Still today we do not have any defense mechanism for the growing domestic violence, which is 100 % increased and has taken a more lethal shape recently. We are still witnessing almost 7 child rapes on average in a month in one province of the country. This is happening while Afghanistan has already signed CEDAW with no reservations, obliged to report on its progress for the 6 human rights conventions and the United Nations Security Council Resolution 1325 and 1820 that makes the government responsible to prevent sexual abuse and rape of women and children.
The international community too hasn’t been able to address women’s needs effectively. They are too influenced by the fallacy that it’s impossible to work on women’s rights in Afghanistan. We have more than 40 countries present in Afghanistan who have their global commitment to women empowerment but that commitment isn’t seen in their aid interventions in Afghanistan. The hard question is that why the world’s global commitment and values aren’t translated into actions of an entirely aid dependant nation.
The worsening situations of women’s lives in Afghanistan aren’t anything separate from the nation’s instability. The more conflict exacerbates, the more violence is practiced on women. Mostly because of lack of law enforcement mechanisms throughout the country. There is a wide misconception about Afghans that they will not follow the law because they are tribal. But no matter in which tribe they are, they seek justice. The main issue is that there is no supply for justice.
I have been constantly advocating for women’s role in peace processes in Afghanistan that would eventually stabilize the country. The women’s participation in the first regional Pakistan Afghanistan Peace Jirga was exemplary of this fact. But still when international community and the state talks about negotiations and reconciliation with those that have massacred women’s existence, there are no women in those discussions.
It’s ironic that those who create the war are invited to make peace. In an armed conflict, they are still trying to arm the local militias. This act will be legitimizing the threats against women because women are the first victims of these localizing arms as we have seen in the past too.
I will conclude that the deteriorating situation of women isn’t a local threat to Afghanistan only likewise terrorism, but to the whole region and will eventually impact the world. Under the name of negotiations and truce, we all know the brutalities against women and children in the Pakistan’s northern regions. Because women are thought to the symbols of progress and power so they do all they can to diminish women’s struggles that stabilizes their nations too.
International Woman of Courage Award, State Department United States of America
March 9, 2009.
Today is yet another example that the women of Afghanistan want to change their lives and want to raise their voices against inequalities and injustices on them. Yet again we are challenging the stereotypes that the women of Afghanistan are portrayed as “dead and passive and those they can’t participate in the reconstruction of Afghanistan”.
The ambition for equality and justice awoke in me when I was almost 12 years of age living in a traditional joint family that believed women shouldn’t be allowed to eat meat because it makes them strong and they will argue and disobey the family.
I started working for women and children 11 years ago when I was only 17 or 18 years of age. The compelling situation of women and children in the refugee camps of Peshawar, Pakistan made me question the inequality of power and access to the basic living needs for any human being. Trying to portray their real life conditions, I wrote in a nationwide newspaper that was published in four big cities of Pakistan on that time and raised the voices of the women and children that weren’t getting the relief aid they were supposed to, because men (who got the relief aid) used to sell them outside homes.
I continued working for refugee women and children in Peshawar Pakistan for almost 4 years through various opportunities and mainly by working with the aid agencies that were supporting women in refugee camps of Peshawar but also had its programs in Afghanistan. I used to travel back and forth to Kabul and other provinces to oversee those projects I run for women, which were mainly education, health and income generation.
During 2001, I came to Afghanistan permanently and continued my work through the first nationwide vulnerability assessment of women in today’s most volatile provinces. Since 2001, I have mainly focused on transferring my experience and expertise to local women organizations so that they are able to raise women’s voices in Afghanistan. I believe that for any strong nation, we need strong civil society. In the past 8 years I worked with more than 60 women organizations around the country, United Nations, national and international NGOs and the government to advocate for the women’s rights in all sectors of the governance and sociopolitical arenas. I have been devising advocacy and lobbying strategies for women activists and women organizations in the country to challenge the patriarchal system and assert their places within that system.
In the past few years, I have tried to bring out those local voices at the regional and international platforms, to influence the international policies on Afghanistan and address women’s issues strategically. Particularly, I have been advocating for women’s active participation in improving the peace and security of the country. As we women bring a perspective to peace which is more than military and police. Based on our experience, we believe security is about going to school, being able to get health services, being able to get justice in no time and many more. A small girl told me in Afghanistan that whenever her mother was badly beaten by her father, he knew that the outside security is bad and my father doesn’t have a work to do.
My current efforts include improving access to justice for the victims of domestic violence through legal aid and defense lawyering for women at risk. I also lead a 35 member advocacy initiative against child/women rapes and sexual abuse. We were able to convince the government and the first vice president created a high commission under his supervision to follow up child rapes cases and bring the perpetrators to justice. I together with other women activists are working on presenting the amendments to the criminal code of the country that does not yet recognize rape but instead punishes the victim for adultery. A child for adultery!
There is no doubt that in the past 8 years, after the formal fall of the Taliban government, the women of Afghanistan made progress which ranges from equality in the constitution, establishment of the ministry of women’s affairs, the 27 % gender quota in the national assembly and growing number of women working at various government and non government sector. However, we still have no woman ( apart from MOWA) in the minister’s cabinet, we are still not part of the peace processes, every 30 minutes one woman dies of maternal complications which 80 % of them are curable. Still today we do not have any defense mechanism for the growing domestic violence, which is 100 % increased and has taken a more lethal shape recently. We are still witnessing almost 7 child rapes on average in a month in one province of the country. This is happening while Afghanistan has already signed CEDAW with no reservations, obliged to report on its progress for the 6 human rights conventions and the United Nations Security Council Resolution 1325 and 1820 that makes the government responsible to prevent sexual abuse and rape of women and children.
The international community too hasn’t been able to address women’s needs effectively. They are too influenced by the fallacy that it’s impossible to work on women’s rights in Afghanistan. We have more than 40 countries present in Afghanistan who have their global commitment to women empowerment but that commitment isn’t seen in their aid interventions in Afghanistan. The hard question is that why the world’s global commitment and values aren’t translated into actions of an entirely aid dependant nation.
The worsening situations of women’s lives in Afghanistan aren’t anything separate from the nation’s instability. The more conflict exacerbates, the more violence is practiced on women. Mostly because of lack of law enforcement mechanisms throughout the country. There is a wide misconception about Afghans that they will not follow the law because they are tribal. But no matter in which tribe they are, they seek justice. The main issue is that there is no supply for justice.
I have been constantly advocating for women’s role in peace processes in Afghanistan that would eventually stabilize the country. The women’s participation in the first regional Pakistan Afghanistan Peace Jirga was exemplary of this fact. But still when international community and the state talks about negotiations and reconciliation with those that have massacred women’s existence, there are no women in those discussions.
It’s ironic that those who create the war are invited to make peace. In an armed conflict, they are still trying to arm the local militias. This act will be legitimizing the threats against women because women are the first victims of these localizing arms as we have seen in the past too.
I will conclude that the deteriorating situation of women isn’t a local threat to Afghanistan only likewise terrorism, but to the whole region and will eventually impact the world. Under the name of negotiations and truce, we all know the brutalities against women and children in the Pakistan’s northern regions. Because women are thought to the symbols of progress and power so they do all they can to diminish women’s struggles that stabilizes their nations too.
5 Million Women Campaign
During early May 09, when a number of women leaders gathered to design programs to encourage women for voting, i suggested what if we start a campaign of a bulk of women so that they can be motivated, encouraged and supported to take part in elections. Many thought its very ambitious as women dont come along in bulks. Later on , in a bigger coordination meeting on 17 June, i proposed the 5 Million Women Campaign as an outcome of coordinating election efforts by international community and civil society. A donor supported and we started the preparatory work at women's network.
The idea of 5 Million Women Campaign is to mobilize women towards an objective rather than an individual candidate that might easily influence voters. After so much of hard work to establish a working group, preparations and consultations, the launch was done on 4th of August 2009. The loya jirga tent that is a historical platform for change and struggles in Afghanistan was witness of around 1500 women from Kabul and 32 provinces ( Helmand and Zabul couldnt make it) and they approved a declaration which called for strategic integration of women into the next government plans and that will be only when they will vote for any candidate.
I spoke at this launch forum and encouraged women to ignore any other affiliations that will influence their decision but only vote for themselves, for any candidate that is able to respect women's vote and have clear plans for improving their situations. These women should also be the observers and monitors of the upcoming governments so that their demands are fullfiled properly. We are not asking for any sympathy or doing good for women, its doing good for Afghanistan. An Afghanistan that was torn into pieces, and where its women have had no role in its destruction but they want to play an important role in its reconstruction and teach the ones that destroyed it, that this land is half ours too.
Should i just give up?.....continued....
Very True...."things will get worse before they get better"....similar is a human being's nature. For the past many months i have been thinking of "giving up" because i thought my struggles are not paying off. But as i reach to the peak of frustration, i see the tiny hands of "change" that i guess i have contributed towards, waving towards me that they need to be strenghtened.I dont have to tell here that life in Afghanistan is complicated or tough....but its as complicated and tough as we can make it. My dad always says that those who dont make their own principles have to obey other's principles. So if i have started the struggles for bringing hope to people's lives, then i need to continue and have more supporters that should take this struggle to a farther level.
With all the frustrations on the surrounding, i still see rays of hope for Afghanistan no matter how small. For an example, i had initiated a project of 5 young lawyers that in three months assisted 50 women get freedom from jail for the crime that isnt even in the law. Like escape from a violent home. Escape from home isnt a crime, but women who escape, often end up in jail for years because they are accused of adultery as well, while attorneys mostly dont find the man who is supposedly the partner in crime, and the women is put in jail for years. There are instances where she is raped and becomes mother of many kids inside the jail but who cares about them. My project of young lawyers helped them to get freedom and i assisted many of them getting settled in some orphanage with their kids, although it isnt a pleasant outcome. There are similar efforts that at least brings me the hope that things can change in Afghanistan for the better as well if we work hard for this country......
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Should I Just Give Up?.............
I came home this evening around 7 pm and pretending tired, took a shelter in my room. Without even trying to change my clothes or do anything else...I just sat down on the floor and started questioning myself. Isnt it the time to just give up? Why am i putting so much emotions and energy in a work that i dont see the results? ....
Yes, these thoughts have been disturbing me for quiet a while, they are in somehow reasons behind my sleepless nights over the past years. I am constantly questioning myself why am i doing this? What? Ofcourse, the work with the women of Afghanistan for the women of the country. I have been working for the past 12 years, but recently my frustration has reached to its peaks. I usually find women gatherings that i am the most active member of, useless and with no future vision or even short term outcomes. There is usually strong disconnects among the women activists and that prevent them from working together. They start giving speeches in the middle of the meeting to the people that dont need to be convinced that women's rights matter because they are already pursuing the goal. There is huge lack of coordination, everyone is doing the same thing differently or secretly. Donors are not aware or dont bother as well. Every process initiative has become a project to be funded and completed with no obvious results. We are all stuck with capacity building terms that is not even started in 8 years now. ....to be continued.........
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Long way to go....
Wazhma Frogh: The 2009 International Woman of Courage Award recepient by the State Department!!!
On Wednesday 11 March 2009, I recieved the 2009 International Woman of Courage Award from United States First Lady, Michelle Obama and the Secretrary of State, Hillary Clinton. I was part of 8 women delegation that came from different parts of the world including Afghanistan, Iraq, Guatemala, Niger, Yemen, Malaysia,Russia and Tajikistan. These 8 women were selected amongst almost 800 nominees from all countries around the world. It was quiet an honor for a young Afghan woman to stand there and once again prove to the world that Afghan women are not passive and victims of their oppressed society but can make their own destiny.
I was told that i was selected based on a thorough assessment of the USAID and US embassy in Afghanistan and based on my work on promoting and advocacting for women's human rights related to domestic violence, and child sexual abuse and child rapes in the country.
While speaking to the First Lady and Secretary Clinton, i said that this award isnt for my work but for the women of Afghanistan who are still fighting inequlity with very few or no options. Sometimes these struggles end our lives but we continue. For the past 12 years of my work, i have always beleived that i wont do the work for the women and children but i can raise their voices national and to the world, and create opportunities so that every woman can stand for herself and speak for herself. That is the reason that in the recent years i have shifted into an international level advocacy at the UN and other platforms to bring in women's perspectives into Afghanistan's security and governance. I recently participated in the Commission on the Status of Women at the UN Headquarters in New York and advocated against the lack of attention given to women' voices when it comes to security and 'negotiations' with the militants. Its the women that pay higher price for militantancy so they have to be included in the discussions on fighting or negotiating with militants. This is was also the concluding message i had for the First Lady, Mrs.Obama as well.
I think there are alot of women in Afghanistan that deserve to be recognized, and awarded but i accepted this award on behalf of Afghan women, who share a more common identity than anyone else in this country. During the whole two weeks meetings and discussions, i had the opportunity to speak with different Bureaus that were collecting inputs on the US Afghanistan Strategy and i am glad that i was able to contribute to it, promoting the message that military solutions are not the only way to fight terror in the region or in Afghanistan, we need to fight with the hunger and poverty.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Another 7 yrs old child raped in the mosque!!!
Yesterday i heard neighbors replying to a man that was searching for the mosque...while our neighbor asked him where he came from , the man replied from the back street and our neighbor told him , they do have a mosque in that street already so why he is looking for another. The man replied that the mosque was closed because the mullah had raped a child inside the mosque and run away. This incident took place a week ago in the 40-meter road towards the Kabul airport. When i tried to ask them more about it, i was told that as a woman i should be ashamed to ask anyone about such incident...however this didnt stop me. When i investigated more into this issue, found out that the family kept quiet or rather fled to another area so that no one knows about this issue otherwise their " honor" will be ruined. Ofcourse, the child herself isnt the matter of worry to take care of or seeking any justice for her, because she is a girl and then if everyone knows about her, who would marry her when she grows up.
What is more strange is the silence of the community members against the issue; silence from the council of ulema and association of Kabul mullahs on the issue; or they might not be aware of the issue. I remember when the indian drama serials were broadcasted on the television channels, we heard huge demonstrations of the ulema council and religious community against the indian drama serials; even the parliamant discussed the issues for weeks. But why dont we hear them protesting the growing child rapes in the country?
The other questioning issue is the silence of the neighborhood members and the elders; we used to believe that in Afghanistan our children are safe under the protection of elders and its so true to alot of extent but why is it that we dont see them resisting and standing against this cruelity to their children.
This is at least the second time i hear of a child rape inside a mosque which is very hard for alot of people to believe. In Afghanistan, mostly small children around age of 4 year and higher are sent to mosques mostly early in the morning or in the evening so that they learn holy Quran and most often girls are preferred to go to mosques rather than schools.
The dilemma lies in the complexity of this situation; we can not say that such incidents happen in all mosques; so how to create awareness among families and the society about the issue? In most of the muslim societies, mosques are taken as the most holy and safe places ( which is true in its own essence) and fathers and gate keepers of women and children prefer mosques for girls much more than the formal spaces for education of even learning holy Quran.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Witnessing the History!!!
Today 05 November 2008, a new day has risen for the whole world. United States of America ELECTS its first ever Black president, Barack Obama!!!
I am not excited because United States of America matters to me alot , however it does since we all live in the same global village and our deeds affect each other, if its technology or global warming BUT i am thrilled because i witnessed a STRUGGLE for EQUALITY that proved" Anything is possible if you believe and work hard" i still remember hearing the first speech of the President in one of the primary caucases especially when he lost, and alot of people had no faith in him, not because he couldnt convince them but because he wasnt " someone from among themselves". Its extraordinary to see him achieving his goal in 21 months of struggle even though he didnt have any political fame three years ago in the United States of America.
There is a lesson for each of us in every corner of the world...believe in change and it will happen because the believe will drive your motives towards change in the current chaotic circumstances of the world.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
And we are happily fasting!!!
Today is the tenth day of the holy Ramadan month in which Muslims around the world observe fasting from the dawn to the sunset. We Afghans too, conforming with the religion , observe strict fasting which only means hunger and thirst most of the time during this month. For the past ten days while coming home, i have been questioning the notion of the fast in our context in a way that i guess we all need to understand why do we fast and what is the rational. I am sure that Allah doesnt need us be hungry and thirsty for a month, but there is much more into it, which starts from feeling the pain that a poor goes through when he/she doesnt have food and their children sleep with empty stomaches. Another rational is that once we recognize the poverty, then we should be able to do something within our own abilities. Besides, fasting in its original terms, have a social behavioral condition as well which means getting away from all the harms and preventing any harm against another human, its a fast of preventing hands, eyes, legs, brain, tongue from creating any sort of harm towards another human being.
We live in a newly built township which is almost a better off neighborhood as the cost of the apartments are very high and everyone owns their residing apartments in the township so i am sure they are all able to attribute their contributions to complete their fasting requirements. In all these ten days i have noticed a very monsterous silence in the neighborhood but at the same i see the servants, guards, gate keepers, cleaners, labor workers of the buildings scattered around the neighborhood without having enough to eat to break their fast. While i see niehbors in their glamourous apartments with colored lights and beautiful curtains breaking their fast with varities of dishes that takes the women start preparing from the morning. Is it really just for one person to have a variety of dishes on the dastarkhwan ( Afghans sit around and eat on the ground with a table cloth with food on) while at the same time another person desperate for food just outside the house? Are we really sure that we are fasting because we have to do or we believe in it as well.
Yesterday i was trying to make our community representative about this issue that we need to care about those who are around us at least during the Ramadan, and he started cursing the government for its ineffeciency and started praising the previous governments because they provided food rations to poors in the communities. But then what is our individual responsibility as nation mates but also as a Muslim towards others around us. We can make weeks demonstrations for the television channels to stop Indian Dramas because they are against our culture and religion but we are silent when our neighbors sleep empty stomache and dont have food to break their fast with.
Since the start of the fasting month, at least i see three fighting incidents on the street in a day, and when want to know the reason, the driver tells me that actually its Ramadan so people dont have Hosela ( patience) and i giggle with myself that have Afghans been always fasting because they have always been in war and fighting with each other ...it wasnt an orientalistic perspective though.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Its ok to beat children in our culture.....
Today while getting out of my house to come to work, i noticed a middle aged man around 50 or so beating a boy of around 10 or 12 yrs so hardly that the boy was shouting so hard. I looked around and found plenty of people busy in their own work who didnt even notice the voice of the child. A gardener was cutting some plants and was lost in this own world on how to increase his earnings so that he could lease a house next time because he cant pay this rent anymore. Just near to him there were a couple of laborers digging the ground to the cable tv wires could be triggered to homes and the cable tv man was standing just above their heads make sure that they finish the work soon so that families can start getting the cable tv and pay their advances and dues. On the other corner, there were a couple of quiet elderly men with long while beards discussing an issue with each other as if it was a decision about the next president of Afghanistan and they too never noticed or maybe didnt want to notice the voice of the poor boy being beaten so harshly. Just in a kilometer distance, saw a woman hanging clothes on the metal fence near her terrace and while looking at her face , i understood that she felt the pain of that little boy but didnt say anything. In Afghanistan women are expected to not apear in public or engage in discussions in public, some argue that its not Islamic that a woman's voice is heard by men because men will be tempted and attracted by her. Well...whose problem is that?
So coming back to the boy's misery, i couldnt see it being silent anymore so i went near to the man and asked that please dont beat this little boy so harshly , if he has done something wrong, he can talk to him in peace and i am sure he wont do it again. He looked at me furiously and asked " what is he to you"? Speechless for a second but immediately said that " Kaka jaan...i cant see a child being beaten so hard and saying nothing"...i took some breath as i was about to cry seeing the little boy in pain...and continued " We are all muslims and we believe that we should be kind to children and advice them with love and affection...this little boy cant bear such a harsh treatment"...he shouted..." get lost! who are u to tell me what is right and wrong.First you correct your own behavior and then teach me, why do u get out of home in this morning while islam doesnt like a woman going outside alone and look at your chador, u dont have enough hejab...and you are teaching me how to be a good muslim and behave with my own son"....he was so loud that almost everyone in that area heard what he said to me and i perferred to keep quiet rather than arguing with that man because i felt the pain in his voice as well...i dont know why men are expected in this society to pretend that they are strong and have no emotions...if i continued to argue with him for another second..i bet that he would have started crying.
So i abondoned and came towards my car that suddenly heard the three elderly men who were so busy in their hot topic discussion telling me that " it is important to beat children so that we can keep them in our control and make them diciplined...its part of our culture that children should listen and obey elders and if they dont , we should punish them and set them examples for the rest of the soceity" ....hearing all this, i got on the car and on the whole way thought about the last sentences of these elderly men. Is it part of our culture to be brutal to small kids?
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Increased Child rapes in Afghanistan
In the past 6 or so months the media outlets in the country are constantly reporting about the various cases of child rapes in different parts of Afghanistan. More than anything else, the current debate among the elites of civil society is whether these cases have increased recently or whether the media is able to report and reflect them much more than ever. However, i dont think that is the main question to address the current dillemma in the country, because the dilemma is so serious on the innocent souls that needs immediate actions now or never. No matter if it existed in Afghan life and Afghan society or not, the reality is that at least one case of child rape in reported in media in a day.
For alot of " social rights activists" its another important issue and thankfully they are able to raise their voices on the issue no matter how conservative and closed this society is. With plenty of fear, some of the cases are brought forward in the media and the activists and other important players do condemn it. However, its another reality that nothing else has been done apart from condemning.
As many argue that we need to address the issue strategically rather than immediate actions so that we dont create more harm particularly to children than the current crisis. I partly agree having seen the rapid approaches of international development that has almost failed in afghanistan. But on the other hand, we also need to see how can a strategic move that might happen in two or more years help a child who is raped in this month by 9 men and doesnt know where to go and what to do. She might be killed by her parents or other family members in the near future or sooner. What we have seen so far in this country is that rather than the perpetrator, its the victim who has to be prosecuted and questioned and tortured because the victime is weak and the perpetrator is strong enough to defend himself in any court.
One of the main questions is that how and why such issues as child rapes and child sexual abuse is happening in a country like Afghanistan where its almost 99.9 % muslims and Islam strongly dissaproves any kind of violence or torture of another human being and is particularly in favor or kindness for children. Another question is that how can such issues as child rapes and child sexual abuse happen in a country like Afghanistan where almost 85 % of the population are rural and tribally based and in which elders have the utlimate say in everything regarding everyon's life. Why is it that in presence of elders , our children arent safe?
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Can we replace the " Committment"
After coming back to Afghanistan in 2001, one of the terms that i terribly hate and have to encounter every second is " Committment" or " Tahud" in my beautiful farsi. I wont go back to introducing Afghanistan's war torn history and 30 years of violence and etc but ofcourse that can not be ignored if we want to understand what really committment means in Afghanistan and for Afghans. As i am in the women's rights and gender and development field for the past ten years, and when i came to Afghanistan i was more drawn towards the issues of women's rights than ever due to the wrong approaches towards implementing gender equality in Afghanistan. Since then i have been hearing this term " committment" every second and still we arent able to gauge it nor by Afghans neither by its international allies. The government of afghanistan announces its slogan of " committment" every other night on the national tv, and in every other conference that people only attend because of its food at the Intercon or the Serena or the Safi landmark.
For the past few month, i and a number of " committed" women are working on an advocacy initiative for prevention of child sexual abuse and child rapes that has been increasingly coming out of the media coverage. In relation to our advocacy campaigns, we had a number of meetings with very high official government figures, and again all of them announced their " commitment" towards supporting us, however not a single perpetrator is brought to justice.
I wonder what tahud or commitment means for alot of us Afghans and what it should really mean in such a condition that we are living in, maybe this hypocracy of deceiving has alot to do with our nature of denial, as most of us deny that such issues as child rapes doesnt exist in this society which is traditional, conservative and religious. Maybe that is the exact reasons!!!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Inside Islam, A Woman's roar
from the March 05, 2008 edition - http://www.csmonitor.com/2008/0305/p13s03-lign.html
Wazhma Frogh, an Afghan, uses her religion to press for women's rights – and development
agencies take note.
By Jill Carroll Staff writer of The Christian Science Monitor
Just hours after Wazhma Frogh arrived in an isolated, conservative district in northeastern Afghanistan in 2002,the local mullah was preaching to his congregation to kill her. Ms. Frogh was meddling with their women with her plan to start a literacy program, he told the assembly.
As she walked past the mosque during noon prayers, his words caught her ear. Shocked, she marched straight into the mosque. In a flowing black chador that left her face uncovered, she strode past the male worshipers
and faced the mullah. Trembling inside, she challenged him.
"Mullah, give me five minutes," she recalls saying. "I will tell you something, and after that if you want to say Iam an infidel and I am a threat to you, just kill me."
She then rattled off five Koranic verses – in both Arabic and the local Dari language – that extol the virtues of education, tolerance, and not harming others. She criticized local practices of allowing men to use Islam to justify beating their wives, betrothing young girls, and denying women an education.
The room was silent. All eyes were on Frogh and the mullah. Then the mullah rested his hand on her head.
"God bless you, my daughter," he said.
With that, Frogh won permission to start the literacy program that later helped women from Badakhshan Province participate in local government and run for the national assembly.
Where rigid interpretations of Islam relegate women to second-class status, Frogh uses rhetorical jujitsu to turn religious arguments on their heads and win women's rights.
Her steely determination has earned her attention inWashington.
"In a country where religion is so important to people, we need to understand the religion," she says. Arguments
based on principles of universal human rights or on what international conventions say don't persuade many Afghans to support reforms, she says. "[M]y experience in the last 10 years is this does not matter to the people in Afghanistan," she says. Only religious arguments hold sway.
The international development field has lately seen more of that approach, says Rachel McCleary, a fellow at the Center for International Development at Harvard. In the 1960s and '70s, foreign aid became more secularized, but now religious groups are a growing presence in international development work, says Ms.McCleary.
Frogh is like a number of Islamic scholars – from the United States to Yemen – who are using religious jurisprudence to argue that women have greater rights under Islam, convince leaders in Muslim communities to make reforms, or even turn around extremists who use Islam to justify violence.
As an Afghan Muslim, Frogh is in the best position to persuade other Afghan Muslims to support her various projects, experts say."The fact [that] this woman is from within, and from the culture and society is much more powerful and salient
than if a woman from outside said the same thing," says Eileen Babbitt, professor ofInternational Conflict Management Practice at Tufts University's Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy.
than if a woman from outside said the same thing," says Eileen Babbitt, professor ofInternational Conflict Management Practice at Tufts University's Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy.
The Indeed, Frogh believes so deeply in the power of religious arguments to bring reforms, she plans to get a graduate degree related to Islam. She says many mullahs in Afghanistan are usually only schooled by their
fathers, who may be illiterate and not understand the Koran's original Arabic, even if they have memorized it.
fathers, who may be illiterate and not understand the Koran's original Arabic, even if they have memorized it.
Her breadth of religious knowledge is key to persuading local religious leaders.
"My goal is to really represent Islam. It's not a religion that oppresses women," Frogh says. "Of course it's very risky. I may lose my life during this process, but if I am able to open a door for rights for one woman, then it is worth it."
"My goal is to really represent Islam. It's not a religion that oppresses women," Frogh says. "Of course it's very risky. I may lose my life during this process, but if I am able to open a door for rights for one woman, then it is worth it."
She has worked for various humanitarian and development agencies to give women greater rights and
education in Afghanistan. Now she works for the Canadian International Development Agency in Afghanistan, consulting on the suitability of projects there, implementing a gender-equity policy, and conducting feasibility studies and other preparations for new projects.
education in Afghanistan. Now she works for the Canadian International Development Agency in Afghanistan, consulting on the suitability of projects there, implementing a gender-equity policy, and conducting feasibility studies and other preparations for new projects.
Changing men's perceptions
The mullah in Badakhshan Province is one of many men she persuaded to change with regard to their ideas
about women. The first was her father. When her wealthy family fled upheaval in Afghanistan in the 1990s for Pakistan, her father, a rigid former Army officer, had a hard time supporting the family. Frogh, then in eighth grade, thought of a way to help. She offered her landlord's children tutoring in exchange
for cheaper rent. "It made a difference in the way my father perceived me," Frogh says. "He thought women are consumers [who
could] never be providers." He even began to consult her on family decisions.
"Because I was able to have that status in the family, it got me thinking. I could be a lawyer and help other people," she recalls. Even as a child, injustice needled her. She resented the fact that women ate in the kitchen while men dined in the living room. Girls swept the yard, but boys played in it.
about women. The first was her father. When her wealthy family fled upheaval in Afghanistan in the 1990s for Pakistan, her father, a rigid former Army officer, had a hard time supporting the family. Frogh, then in eighth grade, thought of a way to help. She offered her landlord's children tutoring in exchange
for cheaper rent. "It made a difference in the way my father perceived me," Frogh says. "He thought women are consumers [who
could] never be providers." He even began to consult her on family decisions.
"Because I was able to have that status in the family, it got me thinking. I could be a lawyer and help other people," she recalls. Even as a child, injustice needled her. She resented the fact that women ate in the kitchen while men dined in the living room. Girls swept the yard, but boys played in it.
Her nation's future: hopeful, tenuous
At the age most American teenagers are learning to drive, Frogh crouched at night on the family's toilet in
Pakistan studying English. Only there could she turn on a light without disturbing anyone in their one-room
home.
Now, not yet 30, she has President Bush's attention. In February she and women from three other countries met
with Washington policymakers and aid donors to discuss women and security. The president made a surprise
appearance during the group's meeting with the first lady. With her usual directness, Frogh described Afghanistan's future to the president as hopeful but tenuous.
"There is not justice," she recalls telling Mr. Bush. "The Taliban is very much all over the country. Those [who] have violated human rights, they are the ones in the government." Frogh's solution: After her studies, aim high."I want to be chief justice."
with Washington policymakers and aid donors to discuss women and security. The president made a surprise
appearance during the group's meeting with the first lady. With her usual directness, Frogh described Afghanistan's future to the president as hopeful but tenuous.
"There is not justice," she recalls telling Mr. Bush. "The Taliban is very much all over the country. Those [who] have violated human rights, they are the ones in the government." Frogh's solution: After her studies, aim high."I want to be chief justice."
The Culture of Violence by wazhma frogh
“Wow, another punch, hey beat him, wow what a murder!!!!”
These are exactly the words heard near by from youngsters when they are watching action movies which stimulate their emotional capacity and they get out of their ways. I am not writing to condemn the makers of the action movies around the world, but here I would like to point out some important facts about the action movies, the negative aspects and influences of the action movies on youngsters or teenagers.
By watching such kinds of movies, then practicing on each other, grows the culture of violence at the individual basis which forms the societies. Particularly on communities where literacy rates are so low and the youngsters haven’t got the ability to analyze things logically, these action movies play a vital role in deteriorating the thoughts and ideas of youngsters and teenagers, maybe these movies have got lesser effect on modern and high educated communities around the world, but experiences from under developing countries have been vice versa.
The age from 9-16 years is a really dynamic, influenced and sensitive age duration, teenagers and youth of this age can go on different directions which attracts their interest and the action movies with lots of glamour and fantasy capture their attention entirely and promotes the culture of violence which later on spreads around the society and grows as the time swifts on. This fact has been very obvious in countries going through national or international conflicts.
Youngsters and teenagers grow up with the concept of beating and killing and defending with very violent means, which possibly becomes the terrorists, a terrorist is not born a terrorist, there are many contributing factors in his young age which influences his emotions and provoke him towards the violence and the concept of the snatching the rights.In teenage many features influence a young, especially the emotional enforcement by the action movies, which leads the youngsters choose a violent direction and go on conflict with civil societies.
I recommend the film makers take a new direction and change the success symbol as action movies, and try to promote the culture of peace and unity around the world, with no cultural, racism, economical and political discriminations. As we all are experiencing the majority of the countries being in national or international conflict, we should remember that action movies have got a very grass root role in contributing to all violence.
نمیدانم......
بسیار دلم تنگ است ....برای گریه کردن ..برای شنیدن صدای دلم که همیشه در قید زمان در چنگ است...بسیار سخت است که من در اجتماعی زنده گی دارم که باید برای گریه کردن نیز دلیلی در چوکات " فرهنگ و دین" داشته باشم...بسیار پر درد است..اما نشاید این را زنده گی نامید و اگر نه بزم پایه های زنده گی به قول حافظ و فروغ متزلزل خواهد شد... و دیگر هیچ شاعری برای امید های آینده اش لفظ " زنده گی " را نخواهد برد
بسیار دلم تنگ است ز دست فریب و نیرنگ های زمانم ..چقدر خودخواه و حسود استیم... فکر میکنیم همه چیز در بازرگان در خرید و فروش است و میتوانیم همه چیز را بخریم یا بفروشیم اگر توان پولی اش را داریم
ای کاش هنوز هم در همان گهواره چوبی ام خفته و گریه میتوانستم چون دیگر برای بهانه ای احتیاج نبود... چقدر زیبا ست نوای بیگانه گی دوران کوده کی
ادامه دارد ........
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Afghan Women missed another opportunity this year!
Its really frustrating to see that we women in Afghanistan havent learned that women's rights for equality and justice can not be attained by partying with elites and gifting each other for being a woman!
8 March 2008, likewise other previous years was celebrated amidsts of empty speeches and flying promises from the president and its all three branches, but when will the women of afghanistan will wake up and ask them for implementing those promises and commitments!
Once again hundreds of dollars were spent in food and luxury of parties and gatherings at beautiful and expensive hotels under the name of 8th March celebrations but what are the outcomes?
I think its very important for the women of afghanistan to be serious about themselves and make those accountable who make beautiful promises and commitments for uplifting their conditions.
The women of Afghanistan need to be explicit in assessing what have they achieved, why have they achieved and what is their future plan? I dont mean the 10 year action plan that ministry of women's affairs have prepared by its international partners in English langauge.
A strong woman movement is strongly needed in Afghanistan to get out of this "projecty" limitations and see the conditions and rights of women out of the development and short term projects like tailoring and embriodery. No international community can promote such a movement but the women of this country! Wazhma
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Women striving for change in Afghanistan
By Beth Hearn , Leadership Council for Human Rights, Washington D.C
“In this century where man has reached Mars, Afghan women are still striving to establish ourselves as human beings,” said Wazhma Frogh, who has a lifelong history of social activism and is currently a gender and development specialist for the Canadian International Development Agency. She and four other female political and social activists painted a harrowing yet hopeful picture of the situation in Afghanistan at an event held by the Independent Women’s Forum on 24th January.
There is little doubt that women are facing severe difficulties in Afghanistan. Orzala Ashraf, founder and senior advisor of Humanitarian Assistance for the Women of Afghanistan, said that this is a country where women’s literacy rates are around fifteen percent, child mortality is at 157 out of every 1000 live births, and less than one percent of police are female.
There is also a significant degree of fear, Ashraf said, about the gains in power and influence made by the Taliban since their fall in 2001.
Yet the women of Afghanistan are not prepared to accept these affronts to their rights: the women also told an incredible story of the strength, drive and sense of purpose that is helping them to push for change.
There have in fact been considerable improvements over the past six years. Girls are going back to school and some are pursuing careers, there has been a twenty-five percent drop in the infant mortality rate, and Shukria Barakzai, who is a Member of Parliament, went so far as to call the period since the fall of the Taliban the “golden years in the history of women in Afghanistan.”
But there is so much further to go. One of the most significant boundaries to progress is corruption and ineffective enforcement of the law: it is a case of having “the wrong people in the right places” said Frogh, referring to the presence of warlords in the government and judiciary.
There is now a Ministry of Women’s Affairs in the government of Afghanistan, led by a female cabinet minister. Ironically, however, Frogh asserted that the existence of this ministry actually reduces the accountability of government to women. It is simply not the case that “women’s issues” can be defined as a group: they permeate all other elements of society. The existence of the Ministry of Women’s Affairs provides an excuse for women to be ignored by all other areas of government. There is a real need for far more representation of women across government and the security services. As Halima Karzai, Associate Director of Foreign Policy and International Women’s Issues at the Independent Women’s Forum said, “All issues are women’s issues.”
Aid has been pouring into Afghanistan in recent years but has on the whole been ineffective, Frogh claimed. The first problem is the unsuitable nature of many development and capacity building projects, but more significantly there are social barriers in place preventing aid from having an effect. In the most worrying example of this, Frogh reported that her research has shown that the majority of money from micro-credit schemes ends up in the hands of husbands, who then often use it to procure a second wife.
There is, therefore, a real need for accountability and transparency in this area. Frogh stressed the importance of recognizing that in the current situation women’s lives are dependent on the perception of the men in their family, and planning projects in ways that either include the education of men or prevent the benefit from being lost. She suggested making men, either husbands or fathers, responsible for repayment of money from micro-credit schemes, or the provision of supplies rather than cash.
What was emphasized was the importance of viewing security and development in the widest sense of the word: Barakzai said we must look at health, education, justice, the economy and social protection as essential elements of the secure society.
The panel said that they are regularly asked to what extent Islam itself is a barrier to equality. Frogh replied that Islam has “always been used as a weapon against women” but that this is due to an improper understanding and the politicized nature of the religion. What is needed is for prominent female scholars to challenge the traditional masculine interpretation
The enduring message brought by the women was one of hope. Orzala Ashraf has been involved in running training programs for women and children since 1998 when she was living in a refugee camp in Pakistan, and she said that she is not alone in what she does: thousands of other women are, she says, actively working towards the recognition of their rights through training, teaching, and helping literacy rates to rise.
“There has been real enthusiasm since 2002 and we keep hoping,” she said, “but we have great fears as well.”
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Monday, December 31, 2007
ON THE EVE OF THE GLOBAL CAMPAIGN FOR THE ELIMINATION OF VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN:
By Wazhma FroghDecember 2007
Daily we hear about the millions of dollars that are poured into different development programs to support the women of Afghanistan and yet little improvement in the lives of women can be seen. The country has the second highest mortality rate in the world; 80% of women and girls are subject to severe domestic violence; more than 85% of all marriages are forced and many of these “brides” are in their early childhood, this is true in the urban areas as well; regardless of the government’s stated commitment towards equality in the Constitution, the Afghanistan Compact and the Afghanistan National Development Strategy, there is only one female minister among 27 ministries, only 12% of all civil servants are women and those few are in the secretariat, support positions and daily wage earners and the percentage of female staff in other government agencies is also minimal. Afghanistan ratified CEDAW but a mere 1% of domestic violence cases were reported in 2006. Thirty nine thousand (39,000) foreign troops are present in the country but they have not managed to secure schools for girls in most rural areas. In spite of millions of dollars for women’s rights advocacy projects, girls are still given in exchange for a fighting dog or to settle disputes between families. But to add insult to injury, the government does not appear to be concerned about these and many more issues, which, if I continue writing about them, will go beyond my reader’s patience. So, what is wrong? Or perhaps it would be more appropriate to say what happened to the “right track for women”? I do not mean to imply that there have been no effective efforts whatsoever to improve the situation of women, but the few successes have been sporadic and many more are superficial at best. To understand the dilemma more clearly, I would like to sketch the road map of Afghan women from 2001 to the present.
In 2001, when the US “liberated” Afghanistan from the Taliban, the world rejoiced that Afghan women would be liberated. But I am wondering what it really meant for the women of my country. Surely, we don’t mean that by unveiling them we liberated them, or do we? That is an overly simplistic position to take on a very complex situation. The conditions under which women existed in September 2001 were not created solely by the Taliban government, although they may have worsened under their regime, to understand the current gender disparities it is necessary to look at the entire history of the area that is now called Afghanistan.
The concept of “GENDER” officially entered into the Afghan educated elite circle very soon after the “fall” of the Taliban from the central government along with the influx of international assistance. The western developed concept of gender equality and equity, which has been exported to underdeveloped countries like Afghanistan, failed to take into consideration the brute reality of the conditions in this country. The issues and challenges that the women of Afghanistan face on a daily basis, and have faced for centuries, are not only the “religious and cultural restrictions” that are so graphically detailed in donor reports at end of each project that fails to attain its goal. It is not to say that the concept was flawed, rather that its implementation was flawed. To simply cut and paste the western concept and methodology on Afghanistan did, in my humble opinion, more harm than good. Little to no thought was given to the level of understanding or comprehension of the recipients of the “assistance”, and a lack of understanding of the conditions in which women existed set the bar too high to ever be able to succeed. Without understanding the concepts, how they work, how they work in other similar countries and contexts the overwhelming majority of women in Afghanistan could not grasp the idea, much less move towards improving their conditions. And, in a patriarchal society such as Afghanistan, to exclude men from the efforts is courting disaster.
It was also important to understand, although this understanding has not happened as of yet, that no judicial reform can succeed if we ignore the importance of customary laws and community decision makers. Throughout the history of Afghanistan these local decision making entities, which were curtailed under the Taliban, have been the main court for every man and woman seeking help and justice. For ages, these so called tribal leaders have protected villagers and community members through contextual decision making and the people of Afghanistan, most of whom belong to the rural setting, have full trust and confidence in them and their decisions are taken as law. How, then, can an artificial and instant government, created and backed by western concepts and international conventions, “win the hearts and minds of the people”?
It was important to understand, before any gender programming began, that health projects cannot improve the health of women and children if we don’t first understand the traditional methods of treatment. The coping strategies of common villagers that were effective during the years when the central government was non existent have not even been explored. A woman that used hashish to stop bleeding for 50 years will not eagerly change that practice on the advice of a clinic that was only recently established by an international NGO and that closes its doors to the sick when there is a suicide attack. It is obvious that people will trust the Mullah and the Hakim who are always available to them and answer their questions in ways that they understand – ways that are now called “traditional and backward” by the international community.
I do not believe that any other leaders in the world have lost popularity, or life, because of their “women related policies”, but in Afghanistan many have. Women’s rights have been used as a justification to gain power and women’s rights have been used as a justification to eliminate that power. Looking at the contemporary history of Afghanistan since 1919, we see that the first king of Afghanistan, Amanullah, was sent into exile because of his radical efforts to unveil his wife and emancipate women over night. This is a perfect example of importing new development concepts from the west and attempting to implement them without thoughtful consideration of how to go about importing and implementing those ideas. But this lesson apparently remains unlearned as misguided attempts to emancipate Afghan women continue in the same vein and continue to fail miserably. The point in this historical recounting is not only the failure of rapid emancipation, but also, and perhaps more importantly given that the majority of Afghans live in the rural areas, the absence of the voice of rural Afghanistan in such programs.
“I would be a happy woman if I were accepted as a human being, even under my blue burkha. Unveiling does not give me my human rights, nor does it give my husband any justification for not beating me”. A 35 year old woman in Kabul.
More than 85% of Afghans lives in the rural areas, and yet this huge majority is generally ignored in favor of the educated urban elite when planning macro and national level empowerment programs. However, the rural communities are the ones that don’t take a back seat when it comes to the destruction of those programs and efforts. When we talk about rural Afghanistan, the principle component is the family and its dynamics; not to say that this isn’t true in the urban setting, however, in the rural areas family comes before one’s own life. By family dynamics, I mean the relationships of power that influence the social, cultural and economic perspectives of the family and these, in turn, influence communities and finally the nation as a whole. Social perspectives are the societal structures and classes that are based on wealth, political influence and clan hierarchy. Cultural perspectives deal with the norms and beliefs of individuals in a family (and in Afghanistan this means the extended family) and usually those beliefs and norms are rooted in a social/class hierarchy, power relations and economic interdependency of individuals that is then transferred to the family, the community and the nation. Economic perspectives are the income earning opportunities or potential and other family and/or community resources at the individual and community levels. Mostly, power relations at the family level are influenced by the social, cultural and economic conditions of individuals or groups of people in a community.
In every report about Afghanistan, we read that due to rigid cultural norms the women of Afghanistan have been deprived of their human rights; however, most of these reports fail to adequately explore these rigid cultural norms, and to understand that these are often not restricted only to women. On the other hand, they have failed to highlight the impact of war, instability and occupation on these so called Afghan cultural practices. As an Afghan, I can strongly argue that there is no single Afghan culture that is common across the country. These social/cultural practices vary not only in each region, but also in different villages due to the geography, the effects of the wars and the political and economic conditions. If the western region of the country is influenced by Iranian culture, the east isn’t far from the influence of the Pakistani frontier social practices. For the sake of clarity, I define cultural practices as certain activities and values that Afghan society has been practicing within its own specific territory for many years. A considerable amount of baggage is attached to these practices which have become norms and culturally acceptable practices. Family hierarchy, which deals more with the various levels of power sharing at the family level, like grandfathers’ influence on sons and sons’ influence on grandsons, are usually formed by the power relations within the family with the clan and tribe. These power relations are based on the economic status or access that one has in a family or clan and this comes from land ownership or other types of income generation. Sometimes, having social influence at the community level also earns an individual a great deal of power and this puts him in the position of making most of the community decisions. Their decisions are respected because of the power they have gained through their position in the family/community. Belonging to a very rich, religious and educated family and/or clan also brings individuals a great deal of power that they wield within the family and the community.
The failure of women’s empowerment initiatives doesn’t rest solely with the complex sociopolitical setting of Afghanistan. From the outset, the entire process has lacked consistency, commitment and accountability. The establishment of the Ministry of Women’s Affairs provided optimism for women’s participation, and yet we cannot ignore the fact that it is isolated and lacks authority. It is obvious that one woman in a cabinet of 27 ministries will not be heard and especially if the mindset of the people around her are not on board with her agenda for women’s empowerment. The presence of too many international and national NGOs and contractors with their “gender policies” more often than not work in isolation and fail to cooperate and communicate among themselves, much less with the government. Many women’s organizations believe that tailor/seamstress projects that teach women skills they already know as part of their traditional gender roles and give them a sewing machine at the end of the project empower the women of Afghanistan. Or that bag making or carpet weaving projects empower the women whereas they actually make them slave laborers. Indeed, the concept of empowerment has been lost in the complexity of Afghanistan’s reconstruction. Another part of this interesting story is the lack of commitment to and belief in women’s rights and empowerment. Those NGO directors and workers who pay “lip service” to the women’s empowerment agenda do not actually believe in it and their daily lives are in complete contrast to their proclamations during working hours, which are aimed at obtaining more international financial assistance. With the 85% illiteracy in the country, advocacy campaigns have sweet and sour messages spiced with fashionable “in” words that condemn the increased violence against women – how many people will be able to read these messages? And of those few that can read them, how many will be able to understand, to conceptualize, the information provided therein? Furthermore, how will these fancy words change the lives of women that give birth in barnes along with the animals in Daikundi and other remote villages? To take the issue further, how will these advocacy campaigns ever succeed when there is no effective government to advocate to?
“ if women were beaten once in a week in early years, now by the presence of women’s rights organizations and human rights activists they are beaten twice a week in this village” a man in Faryab Province.
In conclusion, I would like to recommend that, if the international community is indeed serious about women’s empowerment in the development of Afghanistan, then they must put their words into strategic actions with strong accountability mechanisms. It is imperative that they first understand the complex dynamics of this country and that they do this by going beyond the urban areas and getting the input of all Afghans and not just the educated urban elite. Aid isn’t just the provision of financial assistance, it is building capacity in a manner that is on par with the level of understanding and comprehension of the beneficiaries; it is careful and thorough monitoring of the implementation of the projects to ensure accountability; it is transparency in implementing projects and grant making; it is setting an example of a better more honest and effective way of doing things, rather than the opposite. To improve the current situation of women in this country, every effort should be made to strengthen education and health services for women and girls and to build their awareness of human rights as once a woman is educated and healthy, the whole community is educated, healthy and understands the rights of every human being. A balanced approach towards development brings equity and social justice, and that should be the core of the development concept in any country in the world, as no state would ever want its citizens to be isolated and insensitive towards each other.
If you want to empower the women of Afghanistan, empower the communities because the women of Afghanistan don’t live in a vacuum, their lives and decisions are intertwined with the beliefs and attitudes of their male counterparts in the family and society. If you condemn violence against women, then also highlight the curses and beatings that a son receives for not earning enough for bread as he begs barefoot on a cold winter day with shoes on his feet.
Reference:
A history of women in Afghanistan: Lessons learned for the future or yesterday and tomorrow: by Huma Ahmad Ghosh. May 2003
Family Dynamics and State Politics in Afghanistan; a paper by Political Science Students at the American University of Afghanistan. Summer 2007
UNIFEM’s 2007 Report on Violence Against Women in Afghanistan
Politics of Religion
By Wazhma Frogh,
July 2007
Our global village is plagued with perpetual clash of humanity and one humanity is facing millions of threats in most parts of this village. Many of the countries and even regions are in constant crisis and conflict for various political, religious and economical power struggles. We usually hear that “its all political game” that has created tension and chaos among these countries, but the painful part of this political game is that religion too has been mixed in politics for power. I understand that most of us reading this will not like to hear that we are all somehow part of this religious politics, but in the coming paragraphs I am going to prove this hypothesis as a matter of fact.
In parts of the world, where countries state politics are rooted in religious beliefs, there are growing versions of interpretations by political leaders to get to power. Particularly, countries where majority of population are Muslims and the country is called “Islamic Republic of XX”, state politics are also based on Islamic Sharia or Islamic jurisprudence. But the main question is whether we have a common and most of all “true” interpretation of Islamic jurisprudence in these countries or if needed we “interpret” Islam as per our own subjectivity or the biased objectivity. But before religion becomes part of politics, it’s important to understand how it evolves at various levels of institutions like family, community and societal.
Growing up in Islamic environments, I have always heard that Islam is an original religion and has been continuously being implemented and acted upon by Muslims since the times of Prophet (P.B.U.H) with no additions or omissions. But why is it that Muslims enforce the Islamic laws on arbitrary basis which are different for themselves and for others. Muslims condemn killing and brutal inhumane acts against any human beings but they kill and exterminate another human being because another human being relates to another sect of Shia or Sunni or any other sect forgetting that Islam is religion of unity and hasn’t been disaggregated as Shia’s Islam or Sunni’s Islam.
I am sure that some of us would say that actually it’s other political movements that manipulate Muslims against each other and there are great games behind dividing Muslims, but my question is again that is it that we are weak in our faith in Islam? Is it that we are so weak in our faith that we are more susceptible to manipulation and games and go against our beliefs? Or Are we sure that we actually believe our beliefs? My main argument in this last question is that since for most of us religion has been part of the patriarchal culture, we haven’t been able to explore religion in relation to our firm beliefs. I mean that religion has come to us but we haven’t gone to religion. One day I asked my mother that how do we know that our children are Muslims and understand their religion because I haven’t seen us teaching our generations about the religion. She said actually Islam gets to our children through parenthood blood and even when a child is newly born we deliver a prayer anthem (Azaan) to his/her ears and that way we are sure that our child is a Muslim and will behave and comply with Islamic laws.
We can also argue that because we live in Islamic society so our socialization process is fully Islamic and our children learn to be “good Muslims”, however, I would again question that if our society interprets religion quiet differently for different purposes, and establish segregation between Shia and Sunni and other sects, then are we sure that our children are in the right track of Islamic socialization? It’s not only segregation of Shia and Sunni but actually a lot more than that. We are compromising humanity for self interest, we believe that our religion actually commands us to get education but do not let our daughters to get education, we believe that usage of any intoxication is not allowed in Islam but we grow poppy in our lands. We believe that only superior to Allah is the pious of us but we usually make women inferior that men and give Islamic justifications. I have heard from many Islamic scholars that Quran Says” Al Rijal Qawamun alanisa” which according to them means men are superior to women. But we ignore the contextual reasons for this verse and the actual meaning of “ Qawamun” that is related to financial responsibility and financial guardianship of men for their families but we interpret this verse for the social interaction with women and say that women are inferior than women because Quran says so.
As the world is witness of the growing conflict and crisis in many parts of the world and one of the main causes is that religious groups want to rule the countries as per their own interpretations of religion. In such circumstances, I think in such critical conditions, the governments and the United Nations need to come up with solutions to decrease the tensions and crisis in these parts of the world. One way would be for states to define governance and state building efforts as per a common definition of justice and efficiency for people. By a common definition of justice I mean a “justice system which can guarantee human rights as a global need rather than being limited to one religion”. Here comes the question of how to form a common definition of justice in a country? National commissions of people representatives and great assemblies of people can be sources to come up with such a definition, which is mainly based on people’s religious and traditional values but by common I mean that all kinds of religious values of all kinds of people should be considered within a constitution of a country.
When I talk about social justice for people, I mean that all people with different religious beliefs should be treated same within a legal framework of justice in a country. This means that the legal framework of a country should be able to address the justice needs of all religions within their national justice unitary systems. It is important to have the justice system based on a national consensus on human rights and social justice because if that system is based on a single religion, not only that other religions can not be treated equally and fair but also there is a lot of different interpretations of religion by different scholars and clerics as per their own values and beliefs. Most often people’s religious beliefs are mixed with their traditional values and therefore their judgments and perceptions of justice are not purely religious and can not be just to other people who do not belong to their circle.
It has also been seen that justice systems in a country that has limited its laws and regulations to one religion, as arbitrary justice which means case by case dealing of justice as per people’s religious beliefs. Afghanistan saw a recent example of such arbitrary justice, with governments dealing with a convert of religion who was put to capital punishment. In contrast, when war lords proposed their amnesty bill that was favoring their bale in spite of killing innocent people during 1992 civil war and damaging the national interest but it was considered religious because it means for peace and reconciliation. Although the religion does not support such mentality, but since this was some powerful group’s interpretations of religion, it was approved by the government justice system as well so they looked at the process of reconciliation without analyzing its massacre of human rights.
At the same time, it is important for the governments to have a governance system that all religions can be practiced freely and without any barriers, and the government should be also having national programs on providing educational and awareness raising programs for people to know their religion rather than interpreting as per their traditional values. If the governments are not able to adapt their governance system freely for all religions and not favoring one religion, it is likely that various opposition groups will be formed against the government who are the victim or want to rule a country as per their own values.
We need to learn that religion is a spiritual need and should not have political dimensions and we can only secure humanity if we nurture our religion spiritually not through our political ambitions.
In parts of the world, where countries state politics are rooted in religious beliefs, there are growing versions of interpretations by political leaders to get to power. Particularly, countries where majority of population are Muslims and the country is called “Islamic Republic of XX”, state politics are also based on Islamic Sharia or Islamic jurisprudence. But the main question is whether we have a common and most of all “true” interpretation of Islamic jurisprudence in these countries or if needed we “interpret” Islam as per our own subjectivity or the biased objectivity. But before religion becomes part of politics, it’s important to understand how it evolves at various levels of institutions like family, community and societal.
Growing up in Islamic environments, I have always heard that Islam is an original religion and has been continuously being implemented and acted upon by Muslims since the times of Prophet (P.B.U.H) with no additions or omissions. But why is it that Muslims enforce the Islamic laws on arbitrary basis which are different for themselves and for others. Muslims condemn killing and brutal inhumane acts against any human beings but they kill and exterminate another human being because another human being relates to another sect of Shia or Sunni or any other sect forgetting that Islam is religion of unity and hasn’t been disaggregated as Shia’s Islam or Sunni’s Islam.
I am sure that some of us would say that actually it’s other political movements that manipulate Muslims against each other and there are great games behind dividing Muslims, but my question is again that is it that we are weak in our faith in Islam? Is it that we are so weak in our faith that we are more susceptible to manipulation and games and go against our beliefs? Or Are we sure that we actually believe our beliefs? My main argument in this last question is that since for most of us religion has been part of the patriarchal culture, we haven’t been able to explore religion in relation to our firm beliefs. I mean that religion has come to us but we haven’t gone to religion. One day I asked my mother that how do we know that our children are Muslims and understand their religion because I haven’t seen us teaching our generations about the religion. She said actually Islam gets to our children through parenthood blood and even when a child is newly born we deliver a prayer anthem (Azaan) to his/her ears and that way we are sure that our child is a Muslim and will behave and comply with Islamic laws.
We can also argue that because we live in Islamic society so our socialization process is fully Islamic and our children learn to be “good Muslims”, however, I would again question that if our society interprets religion quiet differently for different purposes, and establish segregation between Shia and Sunni and other sects, then are we sure that our children are in the right track of Islamic socialization? It’s not only segregation of Shia and Sunni but actually a lot more than that. We are compromising humanity for self interest, we believe that our religion actually commands us to get education but do not let our daughters to get education, we believe that usage of any intoxication is not allowed in Islam but we grow poppy in our lands. We believe that only superior to Allah is the pious of us but we usually make women inferior that men and give Islamic justifications. I have heard from many Islamic scholars that Quran Says” Al Rijal Qawamun alanisa” which according to them means men are superior to women. But we ignore the contextual reasons for this verse and the actual meaning of “ Qawamun” that is related to financial responsibility and financial guardianship of men for their families but we interpret this verse for the social interaction with women and say that women are inferior than women because Quran says so.
As the world is witness of the growing conflict and crisis in many parts of the world and one of the main causes is that religious groups want to rule the countries as per their own interpretations of religion. In such circumstances, I think in such critical conditions, the governments and the United Nations need to come up with solutions to decrease the tensions and crisis in these parts of the world. One way would be for states to define governance and state building efforts as per a common definition of justice and efficiency for people. By a common definition of justice I mean a “justice system which can guarantee human rights as a global need rather than being limited to one religion”. Here comes the question of how to form a common definition of justice in a country? National commissions of people representatives and great assemblies of people can be sources to come up with such a definition, which is mainly based on people’s religious and traditional values but by common I mean that all kinds of religious values of all kinds of people should be considered within a constitution of a country.
When I talk about social justice for people, I mean that all people with different religious beliefs should be treated same within a legal framework of justice in a country. This means that the legal framework of a country should be able to address the justice needs of all religions within their national justice unitary systems. It is important to have the justice system based on a national consensus on human rights and social justice because if that system is based on a single religion, not only that other religions can not be treated equally and fair but also there is a lot of different interpretations of religion by different scholars and clerics as per their own values and beliefs. Most often people’s religious beliefs are mixed with their traditional values and therefore their judgments and perceptions of justice are not purely religious and can not be just to other people who do not belong to their circle.
It has also been seen that justice systems in a country that has limited its laws and regulations to one religion, as arbitrary justice which means case by case dealing of justice as per people’s religious beliefs. Afghanistan saw a recent example of such arbitrary justice, with governments dealing with a convert of religion who was put to capital punishment. In contrast, when war lords proposed their amnesty bill that was favoring their bale in spite of killing innocent people during 1992 civil war and damaging the national interest but it was considered religious because it means for peace and reconciliation. Although the religion does not support such mentality, but since this was some powerful group’s interpretations of religion, it was approved by the government justice system as well so they looked at the process of reconciliation without analyzing its massacre of human rights.
At the same time, it is important for the governments to have a governance system that all religions can be practiced freely and without any barriers, and the government should be also having national programs on providing educational and awareness raising programs for people to know their religion rather than interpreting as per their traditional values. If the governments are not able to adapt their governance system freely for all religions and not favoring one religion, it is likely that various opposition groups will be formed against the government who are the victim or want to rule a country as per their own values.
We need to learn that religion is a spiritual need and should not have political dimensions and we can only secure humanity if we nurture our religion spiritually not through our political ambitions.
FRIENDSHIP NEVER ENDS
By Wazhma Frogh,
1999
Life is like an ocean and every sorrow and every happiness is sunk in this ocean. But if life gets along with the loved one’s and you depart, these moments sink in this ocean but memories can never die.
Simran a 17 year- old girl, who is a college student of first year, lives away from every one. Every one used to gather with each other but Simran with her Urdu book is used to sit under the pine tree. Then she starts thinking about her father and his whine bottle that till when she will suffer his fathers beats for her fee.Whenever she asked her father for her fee, he used to hit her with his bottle on her head.Everyone called her bird nest because she sat in a place and was lost in her thoughts.She was beautiful enough but she never showed her beauty up, because she was never let to know she is beautiful, in fact, she was tighten up in Omar Hyatt ‘s (her father) anger and she couldn’t even think of getting out of it.Since her mother died she was entirely obsessed by a complex of being alone and poor.
Three years ago her mother died by Cancer. When she was 14 years old, she still remembers that her father used to come late at night anxious in whine then he beat her mother by any chance and Simran stared at those heart rendering moments and shed tears but without voice.Simran was thinking and coming towards the library and she heard a crying voice that took her away from all her thoughts. She wanted to know that why Farah is crying?Farah Sultan was daughter of Sultan Ahmad, a millionaire of the town but Farah said that the only thing that Sultan Ahmad is concerned about is money. Sympathetically Simran put her hand on Farah’s shoulder and asked that why are you crying?
Farah said: who are you and what are you asking for? Go and think about yourself.Simran stood hopelessly and tears made a chain of pearls in her eyes, she went two steps forward but Farah called her, Simran!Simran turned her face and glanced to Farah, she saw a friend’s face and a real friendship glanced of Farah’s face. Farah said; will you be my friend, my best friend? Would we share our sorrows and happiness?
Farah asked all these questions breathlessly, so the chain of pearls broke down and spilt on Simran’s face and she didn’t think further. Both crying cuddled each other.Farah said: my mother died in a car accident last year and today is her death-anniversary and I don’t know my father is busy in which business meeting somewhere. Since my mother died I understand that life is very ugly but shows up its ugliness in a very beautiful way. Simran said yeah but I haven’t seen its beauty yet. When I opened my eyes into this world I lost myself in fights of my parents and since my mother died, I am struggling towards a destination in a dark, lonely way of life.
Both talking about their troubles reached to the main gate of college Farah said; its right that our destinations are different but our ways are the same and we as best friends will prove to the world that life is really beautiful all and all.Farah asked how would you go home? Simran said by bus, but Farah insisted her to go in her car so Simran couldn’t resist. The car was crossing the glorious buildings of the town and getting near to the roads smelled of whine, poverty, fear, and hopelessness. Car stopped in front of a small house made of raw bricks in a tiny street. Farah understood how shameful Simran felt but Farah said nothing and closed the door of her car after Simran got down. Simran’s father saw her coming out of a glorious car and he was ready as usual to torture her.
When Simran opened the door she found Omar Hyatt as a mountain of sorrow in front of her. Omar Hyatt asked her toughly: who was she? Simran answered: my friend! and entered the house. This word (my friend) surprised Omar Hyatt that he couldn’t say anything more. Yes, it was not possible that Simran has got a friend.Day by day Simran and Farah’s friendship got depth and changed in to love why? Is it very strange? Love is not a matter that it should be with the opposite sex.You can love anyone anywhere. Love is a color that paints everyone in its own color. Maybe you also loved someone?As the time passed, Omar Hyatt felt sorry for his behavior because he understood that his daughter was like a sparkling candle that can lighten up the world with it’s brightness, she’s the girl that ambitious to build her dream house in this world.Farah and Simran did their MA together. But now Simran doesn’t need to suffer her father’s cruelty because she is working (part time) for a newspaper. She writes the stories that touch the heart of every human being.Farah joined Engineering and after 4 years she became an architect. She designs buildings for many outstanding companies.Farah’s love and friendship furnished Simran’s life. Simran got the year’s Nobel award for her hearth robbing tales. Farah was chosen as the best architect of the year.Sultan Ahmad had heard of Farah shah a lot and he wanted his new project site to be designed by her. After an appointment when he got to Farah’s office, he came to know that Farah shah was his daughter whom he taught was a mother’s kid. Farah was just like a hidden diamond and Simran’s friendship curved it lighter and brighterFarah had to go to America for an official work, she didn’t want to go but Simran insisted her to go.
She came after 10 years back to Pakistan. During this gap they had contact with each other but Farah didn’t call her for a month she wanted to give Simran surprise of her coming.When she arrived, first she went to Simran’s house .She knocked the door and after a while Omer Hyatt opened the door .As he saw Farah, he started to cry like he was burning in fire of regret. Farah thought maybe he is crying for his cruelties to Simran and he is feeling sorry, so she didn’t say anything .She asked about Simran and he said lets go to meet her .He made Farah to sit in the car and he started driving.After a long drive they reached to a graveyard and the car stopped. Farah was trembling of fear she didn’t know where she was.For a while she was just like a living death body standing in front of the graves.Farah found herself in front of a grave that had a green flag hanged on and written “Friendship never ends” Farah shouted once and lost herself in her own voice.Then she came to know that Simran whose one smile was worthy as her life, had cancer!!! An incurable disease!
Farah shah built a free cancer hospital by name of Simran.Now Farah is one of the most popular and successful architects, she says; “I have reached to the peak of victory and I feel the fragrance of Simran’s love and friendship in my success”Farah is living alone and she says she can spend her life in shadow of Simran’s memories.
Simran a 17 year- old girl, who is a college student of first year, lives away from every one. Every one used to gather with each other but Simran with her Urdu book is used to sit under the pine tree. Then she starts thinking about her father and his whine bottle that till when she will suffer his fathers beats for her fee.Whenever she asked her father for her fee, he used to hit her with his bottle on her head.Everyone called her bird nest because she sat in a place and was lost in her thoughts.She was beautiful enough but she never showed her beauty up, because she was never let to know she is beautiful, in fact, she was tighten up in Omar Hyatt ‘s (her father) anger and she couldn’t even think of getting out of it.Since her mother died she was entirely obsessed by a complex of being alone and poor.
Three years ago her mother died by Cancer. When she was 14 years old, she still remembers that her father used to come late at night anxious in whine then he beat her mother by any chance and Simran stared at those heart rendering moments and shed tears but without voice.Simran was thinking and coming towards the library and she heard a crying voice that took her away from all her thoughts. She wanted to know that why Farah is crying?Farah Sultan was daughter of Sultan Ahmad, a millionaire of the town but Farah said that the only thing that Sultan Ahmad is concerned about is money. Sympathetically Simran put her hand on Farah’s shoulder and asked that why are you crying?
Farah said: who are you and what are you asking for? Go and think about yourself.Simran stood hopelessly and tears made a chain of pearls in her eyes, she went two steps forward but Farah called her, Simran!Simran turned her face and glanced to Farah, she saw a friend’s face and a real friendship glanced of Farah’s face. Farah said; will you be my friend, my best friend? Would we share our sorrows and happiness?
Farah asked all these questions breathlessly, so the chain of pearls broke down and spilt on Simran’s face and she didn’t think further. Both crying cuddled each other.Farah said: my mother died in a car accident last year and today is her death-anniversary and I don’t know my father is busy in which business meeting somewhere. Since my mother died I understand that life is very ugly but shows up its ugliness in a very beautiful way. Simran said yeah but I haven’t seen its beauty yet. When I opened my eyes into this world I lost myself in fights of my parents and since my mother died, I am struggling towards a destination in a dark, lonely way of life.
Both talking about their troubles reached to the main gate of college Farah said; its right that our destinations are different but our ways are the same and we as best friends will prove to the world that life is really beautiful all and all.Farah asked how would you go home? Simran said by bus, but Farah insisted her to go in her car so Simran couldn’t resist. The car was crossing the glorious buildings of the town and getting near to the roads smelled of whine, poverty, fear, and hopelessness. Car stopped in front of a small house made of raw bricks in a tiny street. Farah understood how shameful Simran felt but Farah said nothing and closed the door of her car after Simran got down. Simran’s father saw her coming out of a glorious car and he was ready as usual to torture her.
When Simran opened the door she found Omar Hyatt as a mountain of sorrow in front of her. Omar Hyatt asked her toughly: who was she? Simran answered: my friend! and entered the house. This word (my friend) surprised Omar Hyatt that he couldn’t say anything more. Yes, it was not possible that Simran has got a friend.Day by day Simran and Farah’s friendship got depth and changed in to love why? Is it very strange? Love is not a matter that it should be with the opposite sex.You can love anyone anywhere. Love is a color that paints everyone in its own color. Maybe you also loved someone?As the time passed, Omar Hyatt felt sorry for his behavior because he understood that his daughter was like a sparkling candle that can lighten up the world with it’s brightness, she’s the girl that ambitious to build her dream house in this world.Farah and Simran did their MA together. But now Simran doesn’t need to suffer her father’s cruelty because she is working (part time) for a newspaper. She writes the stories that touch the heart of every human being.Farah joined Engineering and after 4 years she became an architect. She designs buildings for many outstanding companies.Farah’s love and friendship furnished Simran’s life. Simran got the year’s Nobel award for her hearth robbing tales. Farah was chosen as the best architect of the year.Sultan Ahmad had heard of Farah shah a lot and he wanted his new project site to be designed by her. After an appointment when he got to Farah’s office, he came to know that Farah shah was his daughter whom he taught was a mother’s kid. Farah was just like a hidden diamond and Simran’s friendship curved it lighter and brighterFarah had to go to America for an official work, she didn’t want to go but Simran insisted her to go.
She came after 10 years back to Pakistan. During this gap they had contact with each other but Farah didn’t call her for a month she wanted to give Simran surprise of her coming.When she arrived, first she went to Simran’s house .She knocked the door and after a while Omer Hyatt opened the door .As he saw Farah, he started to cry like he was burning in fire of regret. Farah thought maybe he is crying for his cruelties to Simran and he is feeling sorry, so she didn’t say anything .She asked about Simran and he said lets go to meet her .He made Farah to sit in the car and he started driving.After a long drive they reached to a graveyard and the car stopped. Farah was trembling of fear she didn’t know where she was.For a while she was just like a living death body standing in front of the graves.Farah found herself in front of a grave that had a green flag hanged on and written “Friendship never ends” Farah shouted once and lost herself in her own voice.Then she came to know that Simran whose one smile was worthy as her life, had cancer!!! An incurable disease!
Farah shah built a free cancer hospital by name of Simran.Now Farah is one of the most popular and successful architects, she says; “I have reached to the peak of victory and I feel the fragrance of Simran’s love and friendship in my success”Farah is living alone and she says she can spend her life in shadow of Simran’s memories.
GENDER VIOLENCE TO DRUGS
by Wazhma Frogh
2004
I had a long research of the centers where addicted of drugs got treatment, spoke with addicted victims and studied many addiction cases of women, finally I came out with the conclusions that 55% of the women addicted cases are rooted in gender violence. This was the gender based violence which provoked women to go on the way of using drugs.
I had a visit to an orphanage centers where addicted women were getting treatment, during my visit I noticed a very young women getting treatment there and her being young captured my attention, there for I asked her some questions and she told me her story:
I was 14 years old when Taliban took over the power in Afghanistan. We were living in a rented house with my father, my mother, and my elder brother. One day Taliban sent a proposal for me, and my father denied. But later on when Taliban pressurized him that they will kill my brother, my father said that a girl should get married and she is a girl, for her I can’t devote the life of my son, so my father accepted that proposal and married me to a Talib who was an addict of heroin. Then my family also escaped to Pakistan and left me alone with the curses I had with my husband. There were some 4 other young women in my husband’s house but he never introduced them to me, I didn’t know why they were in this house.
One early morning I heard the voices of these women and when I went to their room, I saw that my husband was beating them with a iron built , after he beat them heavily , he left the room. Meanwhile I saw that these women are breathing something, which I have never seen, I asked them what is this “they said this is a medicine of all pains, when we breath it , we forget the whole world, you can also use it but you have to pay us some money then we will give you. Since I had a lot of pains and sorrows, I thought that lets see what this is, and that was the first day I got the habit of using drugs. I never knew it was hashish. As the time swift on, I got used to it easily and I always theft the money from my husband and paid those women to give me life, for me it was just like another happy life.
After sometimes I noticed that I am pregnant and when I told my husband about it, he said I hate girls and if it is a girl, I will kill you. The fear of being killed overcame my conscience and I went to the world of drugs very deeply. When my child was born, it was a girl and my husband came to my room, and said do u remember I told you that I will kill you if it is a girl, I couldn’t tolerate and started crying. He suddenly took the pillow and pressed on the mouth of my daughter and in seconds, she went out of this world. I resisted a lot but I couldn’t since I was so weak and he beat me so much. And this was the drugs which again cured my pain and sorrow, I always heard the voice and shouts of my innocent daughter, but when I used heroin, I was relieved of every trouble I had.
When Taliban were attacked three years before, our house was bombed and all the people inside died, but I was the only survivor. Since I didn’t have drugs, so I was so desperate and furious, I went to streets for begging, and one day I was unconscious of hunger and people carried me to the hospital, which after some days I was referred to this center for treatment. At the beginning I couldn’t tolerate not using drugs but as the time passed and I got treatment, I forgot the drugs now and now I understand that if I was not a drug addicted I could have rescue my daughter, but now I have started a new life and I know life is very precious. The only complain I have is from my parents, that they left me alone because I was a girl and in Afghan society a girl is worthless.
I have come across many addiction cases that women wrapped them up with drugs, since they were suffering from a sever gender based violence. We all know that drugs usage is prohibited in Islam, our religion and also the addicted person is hatred in that society too. There fore, if we want a society cleaned up of all the drugs, we should all work towards building a peaceful and advanced society to eliminate every kind of gender based violence.
Do something!!!... A message from an 8-year old bride
By Wazhma Frogh
2003
I want to share my insights with all the people around the world. With my growing up, I realized how women are marginalized in most countries, how they have to bear the brunt of being female and how they are considered the fairer but the weaker sex. This realization pained me always but to see little girls who should be playing with dolls pay for being born as girl hurts me the most. Being a social activist and researcher of women's issues in Afghanistan, I travel around the country to research on the condition of women and inquire their status in society. Since long women in our society have been seen as inferior human being who are born to serve men. This is true for almost everywhere and is especially true in context to Afghan culture.
Two years back, I was in a province in the southeast of Afghanistan where I met a number of women to discuss their lives and problems. All along my conversation with them I realised out how their rights are being massacred under the shadow of men's ignorance. During my visit, I also had a chance to meet an old woman who introduced me to her daughter-in-law. A child of 8 or 9 years stood in front of me and her name was Malalai*. I asked the old woman who is she? The old woman confirmed it was her daughter-in-law. I found a thin, depressed child dressed as a newly wedded bride. Her innocent but sad image still floats in front of my eyes. In some parts of Afghanistan newly wed women wear bridal clothes for a longer time after their marriage.
Controlling my heartfealt sorrow for Malalai I requested to talk to her in private. Curiously when I asked her: "Do you know you are married?" She said, "I was sold at R.s 5 Lacs to a 40-year-old man as his third wife by my father who is a preacher of the village." It was shocking to hear such words from a child. She then continued and told me that the man she is married to is of the same age as her father and when she doesnt listen to her husband, she gets beaten. Her mother-in law and other two wives also torture her claiming that if she would have been a good girl her father wouldn't have sold her. After listening to that little timid girl, I felt a deep pain in my heart and couldn't stop my tears flowing down my face. Only one thought floated through my head what was her fault? her father sold her because she is a girl and used her to save himself from poverty.
We people call ourselves human and many of us are proud to be Muslims, but please bring me a verse of our sacred and holy book, which recommends selling of 8 years daughter to avoid starvation of the family.
Malalai added by saying "I ask all the parents, if you can't feed your children, why do you bring them to this world and make them suffer without sin? I wish my parents had killed me after I was born rather than giving me such disgraceful life".
Further her words were "Please do something for us, for poor children, and save the innocent souls from such oppression. Please educate future fathers, to provide equal opportunities to their children as God has not discriminated between sons and daughters. Our religion commands believers to feed, educate and care for their children until they are adults. Please provide job opportunities to our mothers so that they can be among income earners at home and gain the right to make decisions. I also want to tell religious preachers and guides to please learn and understand for yourselves what religion says and then teach others. "
I was taken aback after listening to that child. I know it is hard to believe that a girl of that age can say such things but this is not fiction but a true story of an Afghan girl who had paid high price for being a girl.
I hereby convey her message to you all. I request everyone to support me in this cause. It is our responsibility to work together for the betterment of our children without discriminating between a girls and boys. The much talked about gender equality should be realized in each and every household so that none of the girls have to pay the price that girls of Afghanistan are paying.
* a given name by the writer
Two years back, I was in a province in the southeast of Afghanistan where I met a number of women to discuss their lives and problems. All along my conversation with them I realised out how their rights are being massacred under the shadow of men's ignorance. During my visit, I also had a chance to meet an old woman who introduced me to her daughter-in-law. A child of 8 or 9 years stood in front of me and her name was Malalai*. I asked the old woman who is she? The old woman confirmed it was her daughter-in-law. I found a thin, depressed child dressed as a newly wedded bride. Her innocent but sad image still floats in front of my eyes. In some parts of Afghanistan newly wed women wear bridal clothes for a longer time after their marriage.
Controlling my heartfealt sorrow for Malalai I requested to talk to her in private. Curiously when I asked her: "Do you know you are married?" She said, "I was sold at R.s 5 Lacs to a 40-year-old man as his third wife by my father who is a preacher of the village." It was shocking to hear such words from a child. She then continued and told me that the man she is married to is of the same age as her father and when she doesnt listen to her husband, she gets beaten. Her mother-in law and other two wives also torture her claiming that if she would have been a good girl her father wouldn't have sold her. After listening to that little timid girl, I felt a deep pain in my heart and couldn't stop my tears flowing down my face. Only one thought floated through my head what was her fault? her father sold her because she is a girl and used her to save himself from poverty.
We people call ourselves human and many of us are proud to be Muslims, but please bring me a verse of our sacred and holy book, which recommends selling of 8 years daughter to avoid starvation of the family.
Malalai added by saying "I ask all the parents, if you can't feed your children, why do you bring them to this world and make them suffer without sin? I wish my parents had killed me after I was born rather than giving me such disgraceful life".
Further her words were "Please do something for us, for poor children, and save the innocent souls from such oppression. Please educate future fathers, to provide equal opportunities to their children as God has not discriminated between sons and daughters. Our religion commands believers to feed, educate and care for their children until they are adults. Please provide job opportunities to our mothers so that they can be among income earners at home and gain the right to make decisions. I also want to tell religious preachers and guides to please learn and understand for yourselves what religion says and then teach others. "
I was taken aback after listening to that child. I know it is hard to believe that a girl of that age can say such things but this is not fiction but a true story of an Afghan girl who had paid high price for being a girl.
I hereby convey her message to you all. I request everyone to support me in this cause. It is our responsibility to work together for the betterment of our children without discriminating between a girls and boys. The much talked about gender equality should be realized in each and every household so that none of the girls have to pay the price that girls of Afghanistan are paying.
* a given name by the writer
A Woman’s Day in a Man’s Year
By Wazhma Frogh
March 2007
In a bright busy day in the office, my cell phone rang constantly and after answering the phone, I got that it was a friend of mine excitingly telling me about the plans for the coming 8th March celebrations. “hey you know what the president is going to be there along with other high society officials, lets bring again those three crazy women whom we gave those tailoring machines for the project on women empowerment and we can show them as examples during the gathering that we helped women get self-reliant and empowered” if we succeed we will get the new project with more money.” I really want to do a world tour now.
I felt my heart chocked once the monologue was over. Why these women who get the chance to help some other women, deteriorate the lives of many other vulnerable women? I really feel that there is a big blunder with the word’s comprehension; do we know what does empowerment mean for a widow with five dependants? Are we really serious when we empower women by giving them tailoring machines in the rapid globalization that even garments from USA are available locally at reasonable prices? Is the 8th March another day of betraying women with “never fulfilled promises”? Again a number of elites and famous faces will gather for a Chet-chat on the ongoing fashion for the new clothes in town and we will call it 8 March, Women’s day celebrations? Let’s analyze the roots of this day! Is it the day to celebrate womanhood or the day to celebrate the human rights that are given and enjoyed by women generously? Are you sure? I do believe that a lot of struggles took place for women emancipation many years back and those hit backs resulted in a lot of achievement for women’s rights. But it doesn’t mean that all those struggles transform into fiery speeches and empty promises by women themselves even. Women activists need to be honest with their speeches in public and truly bring fundamental changes to the lives of those living with misery under ignorance about their self being. So far, a lot of people think that these activists with their speeches are the gate-keepers for women’s rights and have been the one’s that massacred women’s rights under the feet of their personal interests with different empowerment claims. If this situation continues I am sure women will also lose the chance of having ONE DAY in a Year of 365 DAYS.
I felt my heart chocked once the monologue was over. Why these women who get the chance to help some other women, deteriorate the lives of many other vulnerable women? I really feel that there is a big blunder with the word’s comprehension; do we know what does empowerment mean for a widow with five dependants? Are we really serious when we empower women by giving them tailoring machines in the rapid globalization that even garments from USA are available locally at reasonable prices? Is the 8th March another day of betraying women with “never fulfilled promises”? Again a number of elites and famous faces will gather for a Chet-chat on the ongoing fashion for the new clothes in town and we will call it 8 March, Women’s day celebrations? Let’s analyze the roots of this day! Is it the day to celebrate womanhood or the day to celebrate the human rights that are given and enjoyed by women generously? Are you sure? I do believe that a lot of struggles took place for women emancipation many years back and those hit backs resulted in a lot of achievement for women’s rights. But it doesn’t mean that all those struggles transform into fiery speeches and empty promises by women themselves even. Women activists need to be honest with their speeches in public and truly bring fundamental changes to the lives of those living with misery under ignorance about their self being. So far, a lot of people think that these activists with their speeches are the gate-keepers for women’s rights and have been the one’s that massacred women’s rights under the feet of their personal interests with different empowerment claims. If this situation continues I am sure women will also lose the chance of having ONE DAY in a Year of 365 DAYS.
We learn to discriminate: Unlearning the Gender Learning
By Wazhma Frogh
2007
For the past decade, many development discourses have taken name from the happenings and incidents around the globe and every day we are witness of a new term describing a particular situation. Although there are reasons behind creating a discourse and then using it for self-promoting purposes, we never look into the root causes of those happenings and incidents in our surroundings. The terms as “violence against women”, “Women’s rights”, “child rights”, “gender inequality”, “discrimination against women and girls” and many more are quiet commonly used and sexy words to describe the terrible conditions of women and girls around the world particularly within the so-called third world countries.
Governments, civil society, profit and non-profit sectors, and activists are striving hard to introduce laws to prevent violence against women and children, to raise public awareness on affects of violence in the communities, doing a lot of advocacy, and lobbying for social justice social inclusion. However, we hardly look at the grass root causes of violence and discrimination against women and children in our communities, by our communities I mainly focus on patriarchal South Asian and Middle East countries. Have we ever thought that we learn to discriminate and violate rights of another human being particularly of women and girls? Have we ever thought that it is only us individuals who can strengthen social justice within our families and communities?
Violence against women and girls is not generated automatically from any community or individual, there is a systematic process of gender learning. By gender learning, I mean that we learn the expected and accepted characteristics for women and men in our communities from birth to death. We all learn how to behave and treat women and men in our society through the socialization process that takes place during the living cycle of human beings. In the process of socialization, girls and boys are given a very clear skeleton to fit themselves in those skeletons with particular characteristics in order to be socially accepted individuals. Let’s look at the family structures, we teach our daughters to play with the pink dress dolls, never go out otherwise boys will hurt you and people will laugh on us and we will lose our honor, and teach girls how to cook well so that her in laws will be happy with her. At the same time, we teach the brother of that girl in her presence that you are a man, our protector, our landlord and it is up to you how you protect the family honor, which is usually linked to women’s clothing, their education and their marriage.
I am usually amazed when my parents insist that whenever I go out I take my 12-year-old brother because I need a man to protect me in the society. It is obvious that from this age he starts to learn that he is superior to his sisters and even older sisters and he is the one that can save and protect his sisters, so he gets out of his way to protect his sisters at any cost ignoring her rights and identity.
We do not pay enough attention to the small issues during the childhood of our kids that will shape their mentality about themselves and their opposite sex for the rest of their lives. A small example is that when a boy cries, we condemn him saying” come on, you are not a girl, don’t cry like girls, it is a shame!” this is where we teach the lesson of girl’s inferiority to our sons and boys. We teach our boys that girls cry because they are weak and inferior while boys are superior and should not behave like girls. When our kids play around with each other we console them “Shame on you, you are playing with girls?” The honor and shame is usually associated with the lives of girls around us and from an early age our boys learn to be the gatekeepers of the honor and shame that is only related to girls.
We never teach our children the lesson of unity with their sisters and brothers, the lesson of respect that if your sister polishes your shoes, you should also iron her school dress to be courteous and kind to her. We need to teach our boys and sons that she is not there to serve you as a maid, she is your sister, your partner who should benefit equally and fairly from everything that you enjoy in life. We seldom remember that women and men need each other in every sphere of life and their lives are interdependent to each other, they both have different responsibilities, needs and contributions and we need to appreciate the diversity that shapes human life rather than despising the difference!
Governments, civil society, profit and non-profit sectors, and activists are striving hard to introduce laws to prevent violence against women and children, to raise public awareness on affects of violence in the communities, doing a lot of advocacy, and lobbying for social justice social inclusion. However, we hardly look at the grass root causes of violence and discrimination against women and children in our communities, by our communities I mainly focus on patriarchal South Asian and Middle East countries. Have we ever thought that we learn to discriminate and violate rights of another human being particularly of women and girls? Have we ever thought that it is only us individuals who can strengthen social justice within our families and communities?
Violence against women and girls is not generated automatically from any community or individual, there is a systematic process of gender learning. By gender learning, I mean that we learn the expected and accepted characteristics for women and men in our communities from birth to death. We all learn how to behave and treat women and men in our society through the socialization process that takes place during the living cycle of human beings. In the process of socialization, girls and boys are given a very clear skeleton to fit themselves in those skeletons with particular characteristics in order to be socially accepted individuals. Let’s look at the family structures, we teach our daughters to play with the pink dress dolls, never go out otherwise boys will hurt you and people will laugh on us and we will lose our honor, and teach girls how to cook well so that her in laws will be happy with her. At the same time, we teach the brother of that girl in her presence that you are a man, our protector, our landlord and it is up to you how you protect the family honor, which is usually linked to women’s clothing, their education and their marriage.
I am usually amazed when my parents insist that whenever I go out I take my 12-year-old brother because I need a man to protect me in the society. It is obvious that from this age he starts to learn that he is superior to his sisters and even older sisters and he is the one that can save and protect his sisters, so he gets out of his way to protect his sisters at any cost ignoring her rights and identity.
We do not pay enough attention to the small issues during the childhood of our kids that will shape their mentality about themselves and their opposite sex for the rest of their lives. A small example is that when a boy cries, we condemn him saying” come on, you are not a girl, don’t cry like girls, it is a shame!” this is where we teach the lesson of girl’s inferiority to our sons and boys. We teach our boys that girls cry because they are weak and inferior while boys are superior and should not behave like girls. When our kids play around with each other we console them “Shame on you, you are playing with girls?” The honor and shame is usually associated with the lives of girls around us and from an early age our boys learn to be the gatekeepers of the honor and shame that is only related to girls.
We never teach our children the lesson of unity with their sisters and brothers, the lesson of respect that if your sister polishes your shoes, you should also iron her school dress to be courteous and kind to her. We need to teach our boys and sons that she is not there to serve you as a maid, she is your sister, your partner who should benefit equally and fairly from everything that you enjoy in life. We seldom remember that women and men need each other in every sphere of life and their lives are interdependent to each other, they both have different responsibilities, needs and contributions and we need to appreciate the diversity that shapes human life rather than despising the difference!
Shame on you! You are a girl!
Ms.Wazhma Frogh
2007
This story is about a woman who is a successful mother but to be super mom she had to pay a bitter price… I met her during my struggles for advocating on gender rights.
“Pari! Shame on you! You are still playing outside! I will finally complain to your father tonight, you are such an idiot girl. Why don’t you understand that you are a girl and girls don’t play outside the house, its very shameful to a girl to play with boys outside the house!”
This was my only mother who had become so tired of my boyish behavior and playing with other boys of my age outside the house. According to my mom, I never looked and behaved like a girl since I was two years old. Therefore, you could only see cars, guns and spider man statues in our house, all brought by my father who had a very different mentality about girls from my mom. He thought that girls should be confident enough to face all the ugly faces of life.
Since childhood I had the desire to be a pilot and fly high in the sky. But I could see gulps of fear in her eyes and I started to feel that fear while playing with a neighbor’s son, Atif. That fine afternoon I was playing “catch me if you can” around our silent neighborhood that suddenly I felt tied with the steel ropes of a man’s hands. That was Atif’s father who was trying hard to touch and cuddle me wildly, I felt uncomfortable and resisted. He seemed like a wild animal that just got its prey and is restless to tear it off into pieces. I finally got relieved from his trap when Atif got there after hearing my voice shouting for help. But then his father looked at me and said,” Thank God! My daughter! That I caught you if you had fallen down this pitch; you would have harshly hurt yourself.” That was when I felt a very bitter hatred against that man or maybe at men. How mean can a human being be in hands of his wild inhumane desires?
I ran home without talking a word to Atif and looked for my mom; she was cleaning the dishes in the kitchen when I shouted! Mom where are you? I needed a shelter, a place where I could hide myself that no one look at me, the silent fear of that incident was growing inside me , although till today I never knew what did that old man wanted to do when he held me strongly in his arms? My mom gave me a warm and confident hug and looked at me worried. What happened to you dear? I was speechless but my mom knew what happened to me. She knew that after that day I will never go out and play with our neighbor’s son, she felt the pain and fear that I had in my breath and eyes. This incident happened to me when I was around 10 year’s old girl, who never thought that I am a girl and should stay home because that way I can keep my honor and dignity. This means I should sacrifice myself because of the society’s devils who are then the gate keepers of honor and dignity. That single incident massacred my courage until today that I am 40 years old. But I never got the answer to my question that why I have to change myself because there are thousands of devil’s like Atif’s father around. Is it because I am seen to be weak? Is it because I can not fight back the way a man can? If I am that weak then why am I sent to be compared with a stronger one? Can a weaker half be an equal to another half? Let’s compare nature around us, we have the moon lightening around the night and we have the sun warming the whole day. Can we say the moon is better than the sun because it lightens our dark nights? Or can we say sun is better because we would have frozen and paralyzed if there wasn’t a sun? None of them can replace another and both of them have their own errands assigned. They are signs of diversity without being superior to one another. That same theory applies to men and women, they are different but none is superior or inferior because they are not the same.
Getting back to that incident that changed my personality and my worldview about life, it made me one of the typical Asian women, got married to my parent’s choice and behaved like an upright wife for more than 15 years now. But I wish that if my mom had given me the courage to face the devil and the world with confidence, I may have not been another weaker woman of this era. The lesson that I learnt during the past thirty years of my life was that why should I devote my being and identity because society can not control their evil intentions. I shared this incident with my daughter when she was 8 and as of then have taught her to fight back and stand against brutalities that happen to a girl and changes her motions and ambitions in life, without hiding herself from the society and devoting her self being. As a 40 year old mother, I want to tell all mothers that lets not our daughters be another set of weak women.
2007
This story is about a woman who is a successful mother but to be super mom she had to pay a bitter price… I met her during my struggles for advocating on gender rights.
“Pari! Shame on you! You are still playing outside! I will finally complain to your father tonight, you are such an idiot girl. Why don’t you understand that you are a girl and girls don’t play outside the house, its very shameful to a girl to play with boys outside the house!”
This was my only mother who had become so tired of my boyish behavior and playing with other boys of my age outside the house. According to my mom, I never looked and behaved like a girl since I was two years old. Therefore, you could only see cars, guns and spider man statues in our house, all brought by my father who had a very different mentality about girls from my mom. He thought that girls should be confident enough to face all the ugly faces of life.
Since childhood I had the desire to be a pilot and fly high in the sky. But I could see gulps of fear in her eyes and I started to feel that fear while playing with a neighbor’s son, Atif. That fine afternoon I was playing “catch me if you can” around our silent neighborhood that suddenly I felt tied with the steel ropes of a man’s hands. That was Atif’s father who was trying hard to touch and cuddle me wildly, I felt uncomfortable and resisted. He seemed like a wild animal that just got its prey and is restless to tear it off into pieces. I finally got relieved from his trap when Atif got there after hearing my voice shouting for help. But then his father looked at me and said,” Thank God! My daughter! That I caught you if you had fallen down this pitch; you would have harshly hurt yourself.” That was when I felt a very bitter hatred against that man or maybe at men. How mean can a human being be in hands of his wild inhumane desires?
I ran home without talking a word to Atif and looked for my mom; she was cleaning the dishes in the kitchen when I shouted! Mom where are you? I needed a shelter, a place where I could hide myself that no one look at me, the silent fear of that incident was growing inside me , although till today I never knew what did that old man wanted to do when he held me strongly in his arms? My mom gave me a warm and confident hug and looked at me worried. What happened to you dear? I was speechless but my mom knew what happened to me. She knew that after that day I will never go out and play with our neighbor’s son, she felt the pain and fear that I had in my breath and eyes. This incident happened to me when I was around 10 year’s old girl, who never thought that I am a girl and should stay home because that way I can keep my honor and dignity. This means I should sacrifice myself because of the society’s devils who are then the gate keepers of honor and dignity. That single incident massacred my courage until today that I am 40 years old. But I never got the answer to my question that why I have to change myself because there are thousands of devil’s like Atif’s father around. Is it because I am seen to be weak? Is it because I can not fight back the way a man can? If I am that weak then why am I sent to be compared with a stronger one? Can a weaker half be an equal to another half? Let’s compare nature around us, we have the moon lightening around the night and we have the sun warming the whole day. Can we say the moon is better than the sun because it lightens our dark nights? Or can we say sun is better because we would have frozen and paralyzed if there wasn’t a sun? None of them can replace another and both of them have their own errands assigned. They are signs of diversity without being superior to one another. That same theory applies to men and women, they are different but none is superior or inferior because they are not the same.
Getting back to that incident that changed my personality and my worldview about life, it made me one of the typical Asian women, got married to my parent’s choice and behaved like an upright wife for more than 15 years now. But I wish that if my mom had given me the courage to face the devil and the world with confidence, I may have not been another weaker woman of this era. The lesson that I learnt during the past thirty years of my life was that why should I devote my being and identity because society can not control their evil intentions. I shared this incident with my daughter when she was 8 and as of then have taught her to fight back and stand against brutalities that happen to a girl and changes her motions and ambitions in life, without hiding herself from the society and devoting her self being. As a 40 year old mother, I want to tell all mothers that lets not our daughters be another set of weak women.
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